FSOG Deceived
by shansanchez
Summary: What happens when Ana discovers she was deceived into marrying Christian? Will it rip them apart or will love over come. AU, OOC
1. Chapter 1

It's been 2 months since the Jack Hyde incident. As I sit at my desk, I remember the night I had awoken to a sterile white hospital room all alone. I remember lying there, wondering where everyone was. My head felt fuzzy and I was in so much pain; part of me wished for the darkness again just so I wouldn't feel it. A nurse entered my room but didn't notice right away that my eyes were open. Once she moved closer to my bed to check all the wires that seemed to be connected to me, she realized I was awake with surprise.

"Mrs. Grey, it's so good to see you finally awake. I am nurse Nora. Please let me check your vitals and I will call for the doctor."

My throat was so dry and sore but I had managed to rasp out one word.

"Christian?"

At first she looked at me in confusion. After a few short seconds she repeated herself.

"Let me get the doctor for you."

I didn't understand. How did she not know who Christian was? Was he not here? And what about blip? Oh my God, what about blip? Just a few moments later, a tall, beautiful African American doctor walked into my room.

"Mrs. Grey, it's good to see you awake. You have been unconscious for 3 days now. How are you feeling? You're very lucky to still be with us - you had us scared."

I tried to speak again. This time I had to have an answer.

"My baby?"

The kind doctor looked at me with sad eyes and laid a gentle hand on my arm.

"I am sorry Mrs. Grey. Unfortunately, due to your severe injuries, you suffered a miscarriage."

Oh, my poor blip. I had lost my baby I was too weak to protect. My eyes welled with tears and my sobs were silent for my baby that I loved. I just barely heard the doctor give instructions to nurse Nora.

"Please notify Mr. Grey that his wife is awake."

Where was Christian? I needed his support; we needed to get through this together. It took Christian 3 hours to come to me, and, instead of the loving husband I was expecting, I was met with cold, formal Christian.

"Hello Anastasia. I hear from the medical staff that you are back on the mend. "

I just remember staring at him with tears streaming down my face.

"Are you in pain Anastasia? I can call in the doctor to give you something for it."

Was he going to just pretend that we had not lost a child? Surely he had to feel something. Or maybe this just fixed things in his eyes.

"Mia?" I asked.

"Yes, we found her, Anastasia. She was drugged but is doing well now. That's where I was - checking on her. I was assured you were stable and I left Sawyer here for your security. Thank you for saving her. "

Why he was so formal I couldn't understand.

"I assume the doctor's informed you of the miscarriage. I know you had your heart set on it so I am sorry for the loss. "

That was the one and only conversation we had about blip. The formal personality has continued since then. Christian didn't stay with me at the hospital that night. He said that since I was awake, he had to get his company back on track and would be by the next day to see how I was doing and when I would be getting released. With those parting words, he turned and left.

He returned the next evening to escort me back to Escala but barely spoke two words to me. Once we were home he said that Gail could get me anything I needed and that I should rest. He had work to do in his study. At the time I tried to write it off as his coping mechanism, but things went from bad to worse during the time I was confined to the penthouse. Christian would pretty much stay holed up in his office when he was home, only coming to bed long after I was asleep and leaving before I awoke.

Now here we are 2 months later, and he pretty much has the same routine. He hasn't touched me since before the Hyde incident, and any time I have tried to initiate anything, I've been shut down by one excuse after another. I can't continue to live this way. I love Christian, but I am so alone in everything that I don't know what to do anymore


	2. Chapter 2

CPOV

I am sitting yet again late at my office by myself, it's been 2 month's since my happy life came to an end. I thought one little lie about a moment of weakness would be o.k. and it was for a while. o.k. so it wasn't really such a little lie but the selfish bastard in me wanted what I wanted so I did what I had to, to make sure I didn't lose the only thing that brought me joy to my life. and now it is biting me in the ass.

Flashback

"Christian did you sleep with her?" Ana ask.

Oh God why did she have to ask me that? if I tell her everything she will leave, I can't live without her, she will be heart broken and never forgive me. I can't let that happen

"No. I love you. we talked, I bathed her that's all. she was broken, she needed help it was caring from one humanbeing to another that's all it was. "

"Anastasia!" I called after her as she walked away towards our bedroom with tears streaming down her face.

I found her in the floor of the bathroom crying her heart out. there was no way I was going to hurt her even more by admitting to what had really happened between Leila and I.

Anastasia wouldn't understand that I had to comfort her the only way I knew how the only way Leila could understand. I had tried talking to her telling her how I had been broken also and how it took tenderness and caring to help me heal. to bring from the darkness into the light. I remember looking at how fragile she was how vulnerable and scared she was and I just wanted to sooth her to hold her, help her feel better even if it was just for a little bit. all thought of Anastasia was gone from my mind only this poor sweet girl that had loved me who I had help break was in my mind, she was my only focus my only thought and at that moment I just wanted to show the tenderness she deserved the caring she longed for. it was only me that could do that for her and it was only me she would accept it from. I made a split moment decision.

" Taylor "

" Sir? "

" I need you to call Flynn and wait for him in the lobby to get here, no one is to be allowed to enter this apartment till I tell you "

" Yes sir. " Taylor replied and left without question.

I returned to Leila and scooped her small frame into my arms I was so gentle with her. I dried her body and laid her softly onto the bed, Ana's bed at that but my brain did not register any guilt at the time. I still didn't allow her to touch my chest but I didn't bind her hands either. it was vanilla, it was slow it was sweet and only I could show her there was another way.

after I made love to Leila I dressed her in some of Ana's clothes, I would replace them no big deal. then I carried her to the sofa in the living room . it wasn't till I went to the kitchen to look for something to feed her that I saw pictures on the refrigerator of Kate and Ana laughing, happy and innocent that I finally came to my senses.

Oh no what had I done? I had betrayed Anastasia, in her home in her bed. she would never forgive. could I blame her? She would leave me. no I would live with my shame no one would ever know Leila wasn't even speaking any longer and I would ship her as far away as possible keep her away from my Ana, away from me.

End Flashback

Yeah, lot of good that did not 2 month's later she was at my wife's office and I was going for damage control. she never told Ana but all the same I threatened her never to go west of the Mississippi or all my support would end. she left and Taylor made sure that she was back on a plane the next day and I distracted my wife the best way I knew how with intense, hot sex.

now here I sit with impending fatherhood looming over me. not with my wife who risked her life to save my sister, who has stayed with me even though I have been cold, distant and pretty much shut her out cause I know that if I let myself feel safe with her if I love her the way I want everything will come out and she will leave. at least for now she's still with me. no we lost our baby, a baby I told Ana I didn't want.

Leila is carrying my child.


	3. Chapter 3

CPOV

I am sitting yet again late at my office by myself, it's been 2 month's since my happy life came to an end. I thought one little lie about a moment of weakness would be o.k. and it was for a while. o.k. so it wasn't really such a little lie but the selfish bastard in me wanted what I wanted so I did what I had to, to make sure I didn't lose the only thing that brought me joy to my life. and now it is biting me in the ass.

Flashback

"Christian did you sleep with her?" Ana ask.

Oh God why did she have to ask me that? if I tell her everything she will leave, I can't live without her, she will be heart broken and never forgive me. I can't let that happen

"No. I love you. we talked, I bathed her that's all. she was broken, she needed help it was caring from one humanbeing to another that's all it was. "

"Anastasia!" I called after her as she walked away towards our bedroom with tears streaming down her face.

I found her in the floor of the bathroom crying her heart out. there was no way I was going to hurt her even more by admitting to what had really happened between Leila and I.

Anastasia wouldn't understand that I had to comfort her the only way I knew how the only way Leila could understand. I had tried talking to her telling her how I had been broken also and how it took tenderness and caring to help me heal. to bring from the darkness into the light. I remember looking at how fragile she was how vulnerable and scared she was and I just wanted to sooth her to hold her, help her feel better even if it was just for a little bit. all thought of Anastasia was gone from my mind only this poor sweet girl that had loved me who I had help break was in my mind, she was my only focus my only thought and at that moment I just wanted to show the tenderness she deserved the caring she longed for. it was only me that could do that for her and it was only me she would accept it from. I made a split moment decision.

" Taylor "

" Sir? "

" I need you to call Flynn and wait for him in the lobby to get here, no one is to be allowed to enter this apartment till I tell you "

" Yes sir. " Taylor replied and left without question.

I returned to Leila and scooped her small frame into my arms I was so gentle with her. I dried her body and laid her softly onto the bed, Ana's bed at that but my brain did not register any guilt at the time. I still didn't allow her to touch my chest but I didn't bind her hands either. it was vanilla, it was slow it was sweet and only I could show her there was another way.

after I made love to Leila I dressed her in some of Ana's clothes, I would replace them no big deal. then I carried her to the sofa in the living room . it wasn't till I went to the kitchen to look for something to feed her that I saw pictures on the refrigerator of Kate and Ana laughing, happy and innocent that I finally came to my senses.

Oh no what had I done? I had betrayed Anastasia, in her home in her bed. she would never forgive. could I blame her? She would leave me. no I would live with my shame no one would ever know Leila wasn't even speaking any longer and I would ship her as far away as possible keep her away from my Ana, away from me.

End Flashback

Yeah, lot of good that did not 2 month's later she was at my wife's office and I was going for damage control. she never told Ana but all the same I threatened her never to go west of the Mississippi or all my support would end. she left and Taylor made sure that she was back on a plane the next day and I distracted my wife the best way I knew how with intense, hot sex.

now here I sit with impending fatherhood looming over me. not with my wife who risked her life to save my sister, who has stayed with me even though I have been cold, distant and pretty much shut her out cause I know that if I let myself feel safe with her if I love her the way I want everything will come out and she will leave. at least for now she's still with me. no we lost our baby, a baby I told Ana I didn't want.

Leila is carrying my child.


	4. Chapter 4

APOV

I arrive home to no Christian again. he is going to talk to me tonight if I have to stay awake all night. greets me

" good evening Mrs. Grey, what time would you like to eat? "

She ask in her usual warm caring way. she knows things are bad right now, and have been for a while, but she watches after me she feels like a Mom to me. she was the one there when I lost blip. she been there since Christian has shut me out. she's one of the few people that knew about everything, after all she did have ring side seats to Christian's blow up about my pregnancy. but I never told anyone else not my Mother, not Kate. no one .

" Gail please call me Ana, I am not Christian and you have been like a mother to me "

" Yes Ana , I'm sorry of course would you like to eat now? "

" everything smells wonderful but I think I will wait on Christian for dinner "

" oh dear, I am sorry Ana I thought you knew Jason called said that Mr. Grey was being called out of town quiet unexpectedly and they flew out about 30 minutes ago. I assumed he would have called you. I am sorry "

I just stare at her, why would he not at least tell me that he was leaving? I mean simple phone call would not have taken but a moment. where did he even go?

" Gail do you know where they were going? " I hoped she couldn't hear the hurt in my voice.

" Jason said New York , there must have been a work issue, he said that Mr. Grey was in quiet the hurry and almost seemed panicked. "

" thank you Gail, I think I am just going to lie down I'm not really hungry and I've had a very long day and just need some rest. "

Gail didn't question me she just gave me a small smile, she knew I was hurting. would things ever like they were before? maybe Christian wasn't in the air yet, maybe if I called I could still catch him. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed his number.

" Grey "

" Christian "

"Anastasia, I was going to call when I got a chance , I believe Taylor left word with Mrs. Jones. I am on my way out to New York there is a deal that my company is about to lose and I need to be there to try and save it. I will call when I can. "

with that the line went dead. he had hung up , no goodbye, no I love you , nothing. why am I hanging on to marriage when it feels like I am the only one in it. did Christian not love me any more? was the fact that I had gotten pregnant the one line that I unintentionally crossed that changed everything for him? I know I needed answers but part of me had a feeling that I didn't want to hear them.

I drifted off to sleep that night sobbing into my pillow. I was so heart broken I felt physical pain. I had no idea how to stop it and felt too weak to just the situation and be with out Christian. something had to give I was holding on by a thread.

CPOV

I had been brought out of my thoughts by the sound of my phone vibrating on my desk, I didn't bother checking the called ID.

" Grey "

" Mr. Grey this is Dr. Helms I am calling on behalf on Ms. Leila Williams, sir she was brought to the hospital tonight with complications from her pregnancy and we have you listed as her emergency contact. "

" yes Dr. Helms, is she alright is the baby o.k.? "

" Ms. Williams is stable now, her blood pressure was extremely high causing complications so we will be keeping her here until we are certain that we have it under control, Mr Grey I understand that Ms. Williams has no family that can be here and she really does need someone, I would advise if at all possible that you come. her and her child are not out of the woods yet and she needs all the support she can get. "

" Thank you Doctor, I am on my way and will be there as quickly as I can "

what else am I supposed to do? this is my child. I know I never wanted to be a father but it's happening whether I like it or not and I should be there if something happens to my baby. I am terrified what if I don't get there in time? Oh no I have to go.

" Taylor! "

Taylor came running into my office.

" Taylor call get the jet ready I have to get to New York NOW! "

he didn't question me, he just turned to make all the necessary calls. maybe I should call Ana but what would I say. that I'm running to New York to by my ex-sub's side cause she may be losing our baby. I couldn't think about her right now I had to get to Leila.

we are in the car pulling around to the private hanger where the jet is when my phone rings.

" Grey "

Ana's sweet voice was on the the other end. and my chest constricted. damn this hurt to hear her voice right now.

"Anastasia, I was going to call when I got a chance , I believe Taylor left word with Mrs. Jones. I am on my way out to New York there is a deal that my company is about to lose and I need to be there to try and save it. I will call when I can. "

I quickly hung up, I didn't even wait for her to respond. I just had to get off the phone. I thought I could handle my guilt from my betrayal of Ana, when Flynn called me when Ana was in the hospital after the whole Jack Hyde incident and said it was an emergency that he had to see me in person right away.

Flashback

" John, if you need to see me then you can come to the hospital I am not leaving Anastasia's side "

" fine Christian but I will need to see you in private this is not something that can wait and not something I want to discuss in Anastasia's room "

Flynn arrived 20 minutes later and I met him in a small unused office down the hall from where Ana's room was.

" So John what was so important that you had to drag me away from Ana? "

" Christian as you know Leila has been insistent on speaking with you, even though I have explained that you have no desire to have any contact with her she has not given up. yesterday she finally told me what has her so obsessed. Christian she is pregnant. "

" So what John? does she need medical care for her child fine I will pay for it. why was that so important? "

" I requested her medical records to make sure this was not something that she was trying to manipulate you with for attention in any way. Christian she is over 8 weeks pregnant. the only way that is possible is if she became pregnant in the time frame of her break down here in Seattle. Christian I have to ask you when was the last time you were sexually involved with Leila? "

I feel the room starting to spin, my chest feels tight and all I can hear is rushing water in my ear's. this can't be happening. it's not possible, only it is .

my mind goes back that to that day in the apartment.

" Master how can I please you ? "

she looked so vulnerable, so sweet I didn't want her to call me master.

" Leila not master, call me Christian you should never call anyone master again you are better than that. "

" yes Christian "

I brushed her hair out of her face. trailing my fingertips along her jaw line down to her collar bone, I felt her shiver and leaned over and touched my lips to her's , she felt so so soft. she was there just for me and I was there just for her. my hand trailed down her milky body to the apex of her thighs. she left out a low soft moan and my blood boiled for. I ran my fingers through her slick wet folds and let out a hiss, she was so wet for me I needed to feel her. I need to warm her body with mine. I positioned myself between her thighs she had lifted her arms above her head.

" No "

I placed her hands around my neck and instructed her not to move them any lower. she ran her fingers through my hair and pulled as I kissed her slow and passionately. I needed to feel her skin to skin no barriers for once. I rolled my hips and was buried deep inside her core. I could feel her start to quiver and did not deny her the release she needed. she was so warm and I was building as I looked into her eyes I could see the light return to them they were no longer lifeless they were alive again. I had done this for her she needed me. I was building and the she whispered Christian and I found my release.

" that day at the apartment the day you came to take her to the mental facility "

" well then I have little doubt Christian that this is indeed your child "

End Flashback

Flynn left finally after several more hours discussing what I should do, he had no advice on how to proceed except to tell me that I needed to be honest with Anastasia and tell her as soon as she was stable enough to hear everything out. that keeping the truth from her would surely tear us apart for good. because sooner or later the truth would come out.

I couldn't look at Ana after that my self loathing for the hurt I knew she was going to go through was too much. and I was too much of a coward and too selfish to own up to my mistakes. plus she had just lost our baby that I had turned my back on. a baby that I had accused her of getting pregnant with on purpose. I knew she hadn't but I had been scared. So how could i possibly tell her that I had not only cheated on her but with a sub who had held her at gun point and I had at the time not given one thought to use protection. So even though we had lost our baby that I had told her I didn't want my ex-sub would still carry my child.

So I became cold and distant, not because of something she had done, but because I knew my time with her would be limited, and I needed to prepare myself for the pain of losing her.


	5. Chapter 5

I land in New York in the middle of the night and head straight to my apartment. I have decided that I will go to the hospital in the morning. I need a session with Flynn desperately. but honestly I just can't bare another lecture like our last session went.

" you have to tell Anastasia, Christian" John says with an impatient look.

I fucking knew I needed to tell Anastasia, I have known since I first found out. but it's going to break her. I've already broken her enough now he wants me to just look her in the eye and come clean . like any man ever wants to do that, NO. men like to hide their dirt to live with what they have done and never face the truth, didn't he know that.

yes I am a coward, and as much as I want to stick my head in the sand and act like none of this is happening I know it will all come out. Leila only has about 5 months to go. a little less actually so sooner or later I have to come clean.

I now understand why everyone is telling me it's not always black and white, there are so many fucking shades of gray it's not fair. I love Ana but I see that I am hurting her. and telling her the truth will only hurt her more. I thought I was sparing her, but now it just feels like I am prolonging a slow torture. maybe I should just let her go. let her have a normal life. but the idea of her belonging to another man is excruciating. maybe she would love me enough to accept this. I am always underestimating her and never give her enough credit for her love for me. I feel a flutter of hope in my chest. but it is there for only the briefest of moments before the ever present feeling of doom returns to takes place like a vice grip on my heart...she will never get past this.

I sigh loudly and go to fix myself a drink. the dark liquid burns going down but at least that feeling is something I am familiar with. maybe I numb myself enough to get a little reprieve from this torture.

the next morning I am up early, I actually never did really sleep in the first place. I can't take Taylor with me so I am going with Jameson one of the security I hired myself for Leila. no need to involve my Seattle security they all love Ana and it would be asking more people that love her to just help me lie to her also. when I informed Taylor that I had security he did not know about and would using them for the duration of our stay here he was not happy. but being the boss I was not going to explain myself.

Jameson and I arrive at the hospital by 8:00 a.m. , I enter Leila's room and she's sleeping. I notice she looks healthy , she has a glow about her she truly is beautiful, and you can now see a growing baby bump, it's small but you can make it out. man this was easier to deal with from Seattle where I couldn't actually see her, now here I stand with the evidence right in front of me. no telling myself I have time to deal with it anymore reality is a bitch and she just hit me square in the face.

I pull a chair that is in her room beside her bed and sit. I watch her sleep unroll I notice her eye's start to flutter. she is waking up.

" Christian" she says all breathy.

"hello Leila how are you feeling? "

" better now, I was scared yesterday but your here now so I know everything will be o.k. "

" Leila I am here for the child, I have told you we will have to co-parent but there is nothing romantic between us. "

" co-parent? so you have told your wife? She accepts that I am the one giving you a child? "

" I am not here to discuss my marriage with you. I am here for the baby. "

I don't like the tone she is using or the questions she is asking, and like a good sub she immediately looks contrite and doesn't push the subject any further.

the door to Leila's room swings open and in walks a short middle age man, balding with glasses.

" hello I am Dr. Helms. " he holds his hand out for me to shake.

taking his hand I introduce myself " hello Christian Grey "

a nurse is now entering the room pulling a cart with a machine on it. bringing it right up to Leila's bedside across from me.

the Doctor starts talking to Leila " well Ms. Williams lets take a look at your baby here."

I am rooted to the spot. part of me wants to run, I don't want to see this but I am unable to move, my feet and legs are not cooperating, so I just stand there frozen to the spot watching as the Doctor starts placing the sensor on Leila's stomach.

" o.k. here we go let's see what we can find. " Dr. Helms says studying the screen, he pushes a couple of buttons and a whush,thump,whush,thump sound fills the room .

" there is your baby's heart beat " he says

I fall into the chair that thank god is right behind me and just continue to watch the monitor. that's my baby , that's part of me, a image of a little baby comes into view and I hear the Doctor speak again.

" would you like to know what you are having? " he ask.

I don't even realise I have spoken but it is definitely my voice that says " Yes "

" alright " he says and he moves the wand around a little and says " there you are this is between the baby's legs, do you see the flat area? that means it's a girl, would you like a picture ? "

I am so mesmerized that I don't hear Leila and i both say " Yes please " the Doctor gives us several copies of my little girl. then turns to talk to us.

" Ms. Williams I want to keep you for a at least another night, your blood pressure is much lower than it was, but it still on the high side so I would like to monitor you for at least another 24 hours to be on the safe side. "

I see Leila look up at the Doctor and nod her head as she speaks.

" yes that's fine, what ever I have to do to make sure my little girl is safe."

" then I will see you tomorrow. get some rest and try and relax that's the best thing for you and your baby right now. "

he turns and leaves along with the nurse behind him.

" Christian are you alright? " Leila ask.

I just look at her. I have to get out of here, I have to regain control and figure out how to handle this, I all these feelings and I don't understand them. So I slip my CEO persona on and answer.

" yes perfectly fine, I need to attend to some things and you need to get some rest so I will check on you tomorrow. "

with I turn on my heal and stride smoothly from the room. I need to get back to my apartment. when I arrive home a short time later I lock myself in my office. I ignored the irritated look I received from Taylor when I passed him on my way in. I am just sitting here now staring at the ultrasound picture of my Daughter, there is nothing I wouldn't do to protect her. to make sure she has the best and the best is not for to live so far away from her father .

why could I not see how much I would care for my own child when Ana told me she was pregnant? man I am such an ass. there is just no way to sugar coat it. am I betraying Ana by loving this baby? I hurt so much already but I can't just turn my back. and my family I don't even want to think about their reaction, they would open their hearts and arms to this innocent life , but me I'm not sure what their reaction will be. one way or the other though the time to man up and face the music is here. all of secrets are about to come out into living color cause I have made one decision.

Leila is moving back to Seattle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Still CPOV**

24 hours later I am still in New York Leila was released today from the hospital and is now back in her apartment resting. I have decided that I need to start making arrangements for her return to Seattle, and I guess I need to start coming clean with the important people in my life if I don't do it now I will just keep putting it off and with Leila's blood pressure causing complications my hand is being forced to do it sooner rather than later. The first thing I need to do is bring Taylor up to date. I'm nervous to what his reaction will be not only have I kept him in the dark about everything but I have hurt Ana, he may be my employee but let's be honest if it came down between myself and Ana my staff would choose Ana every time. And honestly I wouldn't want it any other way. So here it goes.

"Taylor!"

"Yes Sir."

Taylor appears at my office door almost as if he was waiting right outside of it.

"Taylor please have a seat, I know that you have noticed that I have not been myself in quiet some time and I feel it is time to bring you up to speed on what is happening."

Taylor sits in the chair across from my desk and listen's attentively as I tell him everything, starting with Ana's apartment to why we are in New York and why I have a completely separate security team here. When I'm done he doesn't say a word he just sits almost as if he is in shock.

"Now Taylor this next part I am not sure how to proceed with, but I am moving Ms. Williams back to Seattle. With her complications I need her to be closer in case of an emergency; I will not ask you to handle her security I will be bringing her team out as well. I know you care for Anastasia so I will not put you in a situation to choose between the two."

He still just sits there not saying anything, maybe this will work out better than I thought, I was a little nervous that he just might quit. I stand and walk around my desk to leave the office I need a hot shower and a drink right now while I figure out the next step.

Just as I approach the other side of my desk Jason finally stands and I think he is going to turn and go back to the security office, suddenly I am flat on my back seeing stars with white spots of light popping behind my eyes, and a numb feeling has started to spread throughout my face. I realize Jason has just knocked me on my ass and probably broken my nose. He is leaning over me now right in my face as he growls.

"Now you listen to me you bastard this is how this is gonna go down. I sat back and watched you with your high priced tramps for years, call them what you like but it really comes down to semantics for what they should be called. I stood by and watched while you belittle Mrs. Grey when she told you she was pregnant with your child and then watched you walk out on her. And if you think I am keeping this a secret you have lost your mind. You will not be moving anybody until you have told Ana everything and I do mean everything and once you do I will be her head of security and you and your trash can keep your team for you. And if your thinking of firing me? Well lets just say with my help Mrs. Grey could crush you and take everything and I will still be her head of security when she's long gone."

With that he stands abruptly and leaves the room slamming the door behind him. Leaving me laying on the floor with blood covering my face from my broken nose.

**APOV**

It has been a long 2 days since Christian left and I haven't heard anything from him, I started to email him a couple of times but wasn't sure what I would say, I mean begging and groveling is bad enough but how do you put that into words, I know I'm an English major but I still have problems expressing my own feelings at times and right now I just want to feel his arms around me telling me he loves me and everything is going to go back to normal and we are going to be happy again. I can feel the tears starting to slide down my hot cheeks and immediately brush them away. I don't want to cry at work I have been so good about that but I am starting to crack.

My phone rings with love is your king and I frantically scramble in my desk drawer to get it in time before it goes to voicemail.

"Christian"

"Hello Anastasia. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier but I wanted to let you know I will be flying home tomorrow morning."

He sounds off for some reason.

"I've missed you baby I'll be so happy when your finally back home, would you like to go somewhere special for dinner tomorrow night or I could have Gail cook your favorite if you like?"

I tell him, I want him to know how much I have missed him in more ways than one, maybe whatever problem he had to take care of in New York is why he has been so distant and things are better now hopefully. Either way I am determined to fix whatever problems we have and I have to start somewhere.

"Mrs. Jones can cook dinner for us that will be fine, we can have a night in together."

He still sounds so off.

"Christian are you o.k.?"

"Yes I'm fine just tired, I know things have been off for us, but we will talk about everything tomorrow night. O.k.?"

"o.k. Christian I will see you tomorrow…I love you"

"I love you too Anastasia, I will see you tomorrow"

And just like that he is gone again at least he told me he loved me this time, maybe he wants to finally tell me what's been going on with him. But with those four little words "I love you too" my whole day feels better now. I start straightening my desk and getting ready to go home for the night. My love will be home tomorrow and I can't wait to see him.


	7. Chapter 7

**APOV**

I sitting at the breakfast bar talking to Gail when I hear the ping of the elevator announcing someone has arrived at the penthouse. I know immediately that Christian is home. Without thinking I am immediately out of my seat and bolting to the door.

As soon as he crosses the threshold from the foyer I throw myself at him. Not something I have done in a few months but I have missed him so much and it happens before I catch my actions. I pull back at arms length to take him in. he looks tired and there is a look sadness and defeat about him. And I notice he has two black eye's.

"oh my god! Christian, what happened to you baby? Are you o.k.?"

"I am fine, I explain everything to you later I promise."

I look at him for several seconds and know, I am not getting anything else out of him right now"

"o.k. baby' but promise you will…"

I don't get a chance to finish my sentence before his lips come crashing down on me, he is all over me consuming. His hands slide down my body till his reaches the back of my thighs and lifts, without even having to think about it I wrap my legs around his waist. And he carries me off to our bedroom.

I know we need to talk but right now I think about is Christian, he is all over me. We are tearing at each other's clothes and can't seem to get to each other fast enough it has been so long and all I want is to feel him. He lays me back on the bed and just gazes at me with stormy gray eye's that heavily hooded that never leave my face, it feels like he can see straight through to my soul. He finally bens down and places soft kisses across my chest back and forth until he finally reaches my nipples, he is nestled between my thighs and I can feel his erection pressed against my hip. His slide down the side of body around to my hot wet core and he slides first one finger inside me then a second one. As soon as he does he lets a low hiss.

"Always ready for me Mrs. Grey, mmmm…"

"Please Christian I beg"

He removes his hand and moves up me and is kissing me again as if his life depends on it, his tongue completely posses my mouth and just when I feel him start to roll hips to enter me I push back against him with my hands on his shoulder.

"No Christian"

He looks hurt for a moment I have never said no to him this is definitely a first for us. But he doesn't understand yet. I'm not saying no to making love.

"Christian we need a condom, I'm not any birth control yet, but I promise I'll make an appointment with Dr. Green first thing tomorrow."

Christian still hesitates for a moment but then leans over to the bedside table and takes one out. I watch as he expertly rolls it on, he starts on my nipples again hovering at my entrance again and it is driving me wild I need him.

"Please Christian" I beg.

At this he slowly rolls into me at a excruciatingly slow pace, but that is exactly what I need at the moment, I need to feel him and savor him as much as he seems to need me.

He make love most of the night only calling each other's names when we finally find our release in almost a reverential prayer like way. We are both exhausted and collapse into bed sound asleep.

I awake in the bed the next morning alone, I don't hear the shower so I assume that Christian is already at breakfast. I go to stand and get out of bed to join him. When I do I relies I clothes are still scattered all over the bedroom. So I start gathering them to place in the hamper. It's the least I can do I mean just because we have Gail doesn't mean we should total pigs.

As I pick up Christian's jacket from the floor a picture floats out of the inside breast pocket. It lays on the floor face up, at first I can only stand there in shock I know what this is because I have one of blip still in my wallet, but this is not blip this shows a baby older than what my baby was.

I finally find the courage to bend over and retrieve it from the floor I look it over and see printed at the top Williams, L. and it's dated just 2 day's ago. My mind is in free fall I am spinning why does Christian have this. And Williams, L. surely this is not who I think it is.

I find my feet enough to move , when I enter the great room I can see Gail in the kitchen area prepairing breakfast.

"Where's Christian" I ask, so low I'm surprised that she actually hears me.

She looks up shocked , probably from the look on my face.

"In his study"

I turn on my heal and make my way straight into his office, I don't bother knocking and storm straight in. he is dressed in casual jeans and his signature button down white shirt and fresh from the shower with his tousled dark copper looks that looks just fucked. As usual like he has just stepped off the cover of a fashion magazine.

He's on a business call it sounds like on the office phone instead of his blackberry for once. I walk straight up and hang him up on his call. He looks up in surprise at me. I have never acted this way the entire time he has known me. But I need answers and he will give them to me.

"Anastasia ?"

I hold up the picture. "What is this?"

He looks like he has seen a ghost.

"this is not our baby so what is this Christian? It's dated 2 days ago when you were in New York and it's named Williams, L. so I am asking you again what is this?"

"Anastasia please have a seat and I will tell you everything, it's time."

I slowly lower myself in to the chair across from him. Why do I have a feeling of impending doom.

**CPOV**

I can't believe this moment is actually here, I had planned on telling her as soon as I got home but now that the time is actually here I'm afraid it will be the end of us. I start at the beginning and tell her everything I mean if I'm gonna do this I only want to do it once and get it all out. I end with why I went to New York and everything that happened there. She looks like she is gonna be sick.

"Anastasia?"

She only has one question.

"So she's going to live in New York?"

"No, I am moving her here back to Seattle"

I seat and wait for her reaction, all of a sudden she bolts from the room, I immediately run after her and follow her into out bathroom, she is getting sick and crying all at the same time.

"Ana, I love you this has nothing to do with my love for you."

She stops throwing up and looks up at me the saddest look I have ever seen.

"How can you say that Christian? You honestly think this will have nothing to do with me? You who didn't want to be a father , who rejected not only me but our baby and walked out on us, but now you want to play happy Daddy to Leila's?"

Her voice has reached a screaming pitch now, Anger. I can handle this I expected this, this is a normal reaction she can get past this and I will take what ever she dishes out I deserve it. But her whole demeanor changes suddenly and she looks cold and it's like a calmness comes over her.

"Get out"

"What?" I ask her.

"You heard me, Get The Fuck out. I can't leave you tainted my apartment, I did nothing wrong you did, I thought you were always monogamous in all your other relationships, just not with me. You didn't want our baby but you want her's, the thing is you gave her vanilla. I can't even go back to my apartment or sleep on my old bed because you tainted it. You gave her the one thing about you that was mine so GET OUT."

I am shock I have never heard Ana be so cold. But can I blame her. And then as always Taylor appears at the bathroom door out of no where.

"Mr. Grey we already discussed this, I think it's best you leave for now. I will have Gail pack you some things and send them to you later. Or would you like for me to add to that broken nose."

I turn without a word gather some things from my study and leave my own home. This I certainly didn't see coming.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**APOV**

Kate gave me a list of the top family lawyer's in Seattle the only problem is over 70% of them are part of Carrick's law firm and that just won't work. I want Christian caught off guard, if he suspects that I am up to anything, he will have his team of lawyers ready to block everything I am working to accomplish. To say that my lunch with Kate wasn't the best experience I have ever had is a understatement, I would rather have a root canal than have to sit across from Kate and have that conversation again.

"So tell Ana, what has the bastard done that helped you finally see the light? " Kate ask in her snarkiest voice possible. She and Christian never have gotten along and I knew that what I was about to tell her would in no way help that relationship.

"Kate when I tell you this you have to promise not to tell Elliot or anyone else in the Grey family right now, everything will come to light but I need to have them all in the dark for now." I pleaded with her. I know Kate was going to want to scream it from the roof tops as soon as I told her.

"Ana I promise, we're best friends I will not betray anything you tell me and if your going to stick it to Christian your right they shouldn't know yet, I mean they love you but he is still their Son and Brother and that's where their loyalty's will lie"

She really is loyal to me, to keep this a secret for now especially from Elliot, the Grey's may be Christian's family but Kate is my family.

"Kate remember when Ethan told you about Christian's ex-girlfriend that broke into our apartment and held me at gun point?" I could feel my lower lip start to quiver this was going to be harder than I thought.

"Yeah. I thought you were crazy to take on that much baggage back then, lets face it you've been through a lot." How was I going to get through telling her this next part?

"well it seems that Christian ended up having sex with her in the apartment after he had me taken out in my bed, and now she is almost 5 month's pregnant with his baby." There done like ripping off a band aid. Quick and painful but it's over.

Kate just sat there for once she was stunned into silence I know she must be thinking of a million questions but she didn't seem to be able to find her words to ask them. So I took the lead again. "Her name is Leila and apparently she has been living in New York to hide her away from me. Christian found out the last day I was unconscious in the hospital, and it seems she is starting to have complications in her pregnancy so Christian wants to move her back to Seattle now so that when the time comes he will be there for the birth evidently."

I remember after that Kate's million questions started and I didn't have the answer's to most of them. "Kate I have told you everything I know so far, but I have a plan I will no longer be the door mat under his feet where I am just expected to forgive everything so easily that's why I need a lawyer, one that's not afraid to go up against him."

"Of course Ana anything you need I'm here for you." I knew I could count on Kate along with her I also had my staff helping me, I no longer felt quite so alone in this.

By the time I left lunch I was ready for the next part of my plan, I immediately called the first lawyer on the list that knew was not in any way connected to Christian or Carrick a Mr. Sorrows I thought his name was very fitting for the situation I found myself in. so with more strength than I had felt in the last 2 days I set off on my goal.

**CPOV**

it's now been 2 weeks since Ana had me thrown out of my own home and I have been living at the Fairmont ever since, I still have not moved Leila back here yet to be honest I feel like I am putting it off for as long as possible, I have transferred Jameson from New York to Seattle already, I still need security and he is definitely Taylor's counter part I have put him charge of vetting and hiring more security for here in Seattle as well as in New York, I wish I still had control over Ana's safety but with Taylor watching out for her it would be hard to even have covert surveillance on her. The nightmares are back and boy are they back with a vengeance but I have no time for self pity.

I have to figure out how to get Anastasia to forgive me, I haven't heard anything from my family so I assume she hasn't said anything to them about this and I plan on putting that off for as long as possible. I've avoided all my Mother's invitations for Sunday brunch so far and I know she is disappointed but they would expect Ana to be there with me and I just can't bring myself to come with a good enough excuse for me being there but her absence.

There's a knock on my door and I open it to see Jameson to standing blocking someone behind him.

"Mr. Grey there is a Mr. Andrews here to see you he said that he has a document of the utmost importance with specific instructions to only deliver them to you. I have checked his credentials and he is a civil servant sir."

No, no, no, the only reason I would be served papers is if Anastasia was sending them and in that case there was no way in hell I wanted to take delivery of those, was she not even going to give our marriage a chance to work this out, surely not that wasn't her nature but then again she had never been hurt like this before. Had I finally messed things up so bad that I could never fix it? Mr. Andrews stepped to the side of Jameson and extended his hand with a packet of papers in it.

"Mr. Grey please sign here" he pointed at the line at the bottom of the papers ripped off the duplicate copy and with that simply said "sir you have been served."

I stood there at the door for I don't know how long in a trance, not moving not speaking just staring at the papers in my hand. Jameson finally brought me out of my trance.

"Mr. Grey is there anything I can get you anything I can do sir?"

All I could do was shake my head and mumble "No your dismissed for the evening"

I shut the door and made my way over to the bar and poured myself another bourbon, I would take the papers to my lawyers in the morning and have them go through them, I didn't want to look at them any longer than I had standing at the door to see what kind of papers they were, even then I was in a daze cause I didn't want to know exactly what they said. If was for a divorce I would never sign them. I know Ana didn't want my money so that wouldn't be a bargaining tool, all she had ever wanted was me. And in weakness I had single handedly destroyed all of her trust in me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**A/N: ****Thank you to all of my reader's that are sticking with me,** **I know there was a upload issue and chapter 2 was published twice I am not sure what went wrong but I will make sure it doesn't happen again. I love hearing from my reader's and what they think is going to happen in fact one reader has given me an idea that I will be using in the story so back to all the twist and turn's of Ana and Christian. Hope you enjoy. Everyone has been asking for longer chapters so here it is. **

ONE WEEK LATER

My team of lawyers and myself have just arrived at Ana's lawyer's office, a Mr. Sorrows. We are meeting according to her stipulations, on her grounds so to speak. Something I would have done in a hostile takeover situation, you always want the home turf advantage. You want to show that things are in your control and will be on your terms, which is making me nervous. Not that I would admit that at this point. Always keep a cool head and never show your hand, something I have perfected over my years in business. But it's something that seems like Ana may have picked up on. The papers I was served with were merely a subpoena to appear for mediation. They gave nothing away except explaining that this would be to hammer out terms for a postnuptial agreement. Which in itself seems ludicrous because I didn't want a prenuptial agreement. I want everything that is mine to be Ana's and she has never been one for materialistic things. So to say I am nervous about this meeting is an understatement. I am relieved that they weren't divorce papers, and as of right now they are not even separation papers, but I know that can change in a heartbeat. And as fast as my heart is beating, that would only take a millisecond for my world to crumble. It may be in shambles right now, but as long as I have the slightest hope of fixing things with my wife, I will not give up.

My head counsel a Mr. Edmondson, along with two other associates Mr. Jiles and Mr. Fouts, enter the conference room ahead of me. I am so wound up just wanting to catch a glimps of Anastasia right now that I am surprised my whole body is not vibrating on the spot. We all four take our seats at one end of the table facing a team of lawyers at the opposite end, but Ana is not here. Is she late? I look at my watch and see that it is just now 2:00 p.m. She should be here. I hate late and the anticipation of seeing her has me even more impatient. But now is not the time to show any arrogance, if I have any shot at talking to Ana again it's best to just sit back and try to be patient, which is not my strong suite. I have a feeling she is playing me at my own game here. Anticipation is the strongest seduction and if she is going to play with my head and win, she knows that I never think clearly when she is trying to seduce me. But maybe that is just wishful thinking. I look at my watch again and we have been waiting for only 5 minutes but it feels like a life time already. I am even more impatient. Just as I am about to ask where she is, the door swings open and in walks Anastasia. Oh. My. God. I am never going to make it through this meeting without a hard on. And there is no way my head will be in the game. Ana has to pass us to reach the opposite end of the table to sit with her legal team. I notice she has her head held high. Her posture is a little straighter and there is a sexy sway to her hips. She is wearing a plum colored wrap dress that clings in all the right places with 5 inch black Louboutin's. She has left her beautiful hair loose down her back that ends in waves framing her breast. I've never seen her look so sexy and confident. Gone is my shy, self conscious wife and a sexy, no nonsense woman has entered and taken charge of the room just by her presence. She doesn't take the seat right at the head of the table. Instead, she sits in a seat just to the side, turns her chair to where her body is just tilted in my direction as she pointedly looks over to her lawyers, she casually crosses her legs causing the split from her wrap dress to drape open and show her legs up to her mid thigh. I let out a soft, low, involuntary gasp. I don't think anyone else can hear it, but I don't make eye contact with them to find out. Once everyone is seated, Anastasia's lawyers start organizing a stack of legal papers. Her lead counsel, Mr. Sorrows, turns to the court mediator and begins to explain everything they are asking for.

**APOV**

I am wasting time in the ladies room at my lawyers office trying to get my courage up. I can't face Christian. As soon as he walks in, I am afraid that I will be intimidated as soon as I see him. He handles huge business deals on a daily basis, so I'm sure this not going to be a big deal to him. I check my dress for the hundredth time. It took me forever to decide what to wear. I want to show Christian exactly what he can't have what he ruined. I want to flaunt it and still look in control. So Kate helped me choose a plum colored knit wrap dress that has a low v-neck but doesn't show too much and stops a little above the knee. Although when I cross my legs, the slit will fall open to mid-thigh. The heels give me height and, as Kate told me, will therefore command attention in the room. I usually shy away from a lot of attention, but today this is my game and I will get everything I want out of this situation. Long gone is naïve Ana I am a mature, grown woman who will never be fooled so easily again.

There is a knock on the door to the ladies room I open it to see Taylor with Sawyer standing to the side.

"Mrs. Grey… Sorry, Ana. Mr. Grey has just entered the conference room and is seated with his lawyers" Taylor is in full-on protective mode as well as Sawyer. No one will be getting to me today, as far as they are concerned.

"Fine Taylor, what time is it?"

"It's just now 2:00 p.m. ma'am"

"Give me 5 more minutes Taylor." He looks at me with a smirk. He knows what I am doing. I am building the anticipation and tension in the room. He's seen Christian do it thousands of times.

After 5 minutes, I swing the door open and make my way to the appointed conference room. I take a deep breath just before I open the door to the room. Game on. I make sure I pass right by Christian's chair and put a little swagger to my walk as I go. I hold my head high and make sure I am not slouching. Show no signs of weakness, be confident. I give myself a little pep talk in my head as I make my way to the opposite end of the table. Out of the corner of my eye, I see that Christian is sitting to the side while his lawyers are huddle at the head of the table. That's fine. This will work to my advantage. I smoothly take the seat on the same side of the table. As he is making sure I don't make direct eye contact with him, I turn in my chair with my body angled towards him just so he can see my legs while I lean over to whisper to my lawyer. I just casually cross my legs which causes my dress to spill open up to my mid thigh. A low soft gasp comes from the direction of Christian. This is exactly the reaction I wanted from him. I am in control now and he is at my mercy.

The Mediator starts speaking to Christian going over everything.

"Mr. Grey, as you know your wife is petitioning for a postnuptial agreement as well as other request today. Seeing as the situation is not ideal and at this time she does not want a divorce, then we will start with the easiest things first, then move on to the more complicated aspects of a postnup."

"Yes sir. Please proceed. My wife can have anything she wants, she knows that. But if she needs it on paper, then we can go through it step by step." Christian is putting on his self-sacrificing, hurt spouse look. That will get no sympathy from me.

"Fine Mr. Grey. Your wife has come up with two different options, so we will proceed to go over the first now. Mrs. Grey is asking for the deed and all ownership papers of the home that is currently under construction on the Sound to be signed over to her; as the home was purchased for the explicit reason of being her home. And upon completion of all renovations of said home, she will, at that time, vacate the penthouse you also own at Escala and agree to relinquish any future claim there may be for that property."

I can feel Christian's glare on me. I will not look at him, I keep my focus on the mediator while we await Christian's answer. Is he really considering fighting me on this? Maybe he was thinking of giving the house to Leila and their child. I mean, it was meant as a family home; but it was meant for mine and Christian's family together. I had fallen in love with that house. There was no way in hell I would stand by and watch him give her a home that was meant for me.

Christian finally answers while still keeping his eyes trained on me. I resolutely avert my eyes. If I look him in the eye, I'm afraid I will fall apart. "Fine. The house was always meant to be Anastasia's, and if she needs this to help her feel more secure about that, I have no problem signing it over here and now."

The mediator slides over the paper work to Christian's legal team who walk him through where to sign. Once that's done, the papers are then handed back across to my lawyer. Then we move on to one of the topics I am afraid he will fight us on.

"Mr. Grey, it is my understanding that you own the publishing house that your wife works at currently. It is also my understanding that ownership of this company is set to be signed over to your wife upon your one year anniversary. Mrs. Grey is asking that, due to your unique circumstances, ownership is signed over immediately."

I can't look at Christian. I sit straight in my chair and just continue to stare at the mediator. I have not spoken to Christian since I made him leave Escala and, even though I know we will need to talk, today is not the day. Today is about my rights as his wife. As things stand, without all this paperwork, things could get really messy in the court system. I would just end up another jilted wife. No home and no job because I refuse to work for Christian. And I will not be a "divorce widow" who lives off a huge settlement. Right now I can't honestly say I do want a divorce, but I do want him to squirm.

I hear Christian's voice. It has a hurt sound to it. "Anastasia, are you just leading up to leaving me? I thought we would come to an arrangement today that may help us repair our marriage, but all of this seems to be steps towards a divorce." Even with the pain I hear in Christian's voice, I can feel it wash over me like velvet, I want to comfort him so badly. But I need to protect myself now.

Somehow I find it in myself to respond. "No Christian. If I was going to divorce you, I would have had you served already. This about protecting me in case you up and decide that you want to play happy daddy and husband to someone else." I turn my head in his direction but keep my eyes focused on a spot on the wall just over his shoulder.

"Ana, you know that's not going to happen. I made a mistake and, yes, I have to take responsibility for that, but that doesn't mean it changes my love for you."

"Really? Really Christian? Cause from where I am sitting, it already did. I was left alone when I lost our child. You didn't want anything to do with it. But now you will still have your baby and where was that "LOVE" for me when I needed it? Oh, that's right, you were busy running off to your mistress." I huff and cross my arms in front of me. Control Ana, remember you need to keep the control here. "Christian, you have taken so much away from me already. You give me things and then rip them away without any regard to me or my feelings. You know how much this job means to me and I need to know that I will not lose it."

"Anastasia, I would never do that to you, and SHE IS NOT MY MISTRESS! I know my promises mean nothing to you right now so if this is what you need to feel more secure, fine."

Mr. Hightower keeps things moving right along with making sure all the necessary paper work is signed. Now it's time to move on to the postnuptial agreement. There is only a couple of things I am asking to happen, and if Christian doesn't agree, then I will go with option two.

"Mr. Grey, now for the postnuptial agreement. Mrs. Grey agrees to forfeit any rights to any part of GEH or any subsidiary of GEH, which of course will not include SIP as that will solely be owned by Mrs. Grey. She also will not ask for any ownership or percentage from the other properties that you own: your penthouse at Escala of course, the Penthouse in New York and your home in Aspen; as well as Charlie Tango, your helicopter, and The Grace, your boat. However, this agreement will restrict any and all children conceived and born outside of your marriage to become the heir to GEH. This clause will allow for you to set a trust fund in any such case and provide child support, but bar any child from inheriting any part of the Grey empire. This agreement also stipulates that, in such a case that a child is conceived, that you have to give full disclosure to all family members within 48hrs. of discovery of impending fatherhood. A DNA test will be required immediately following birth of such child. If any of these stipulations are violated in any way, not only will divorce papers be filed immediately, but you relinquish half of all of your company and properties to Mrs. Grey"

Mr. Hightower, the mediator, is looking at Christian and his legal team waiting for an answer; or to see if they will try to negotiate out of the terms I have set. I honestly could care less about his money, but I will not allow him to hide this away from his family. And if I stay married to him, I will be damned that someone else's child is heir to the Grey name. The room has gone still. It is completely quiet you could hear a pin drop. I sit and resolutely refuse to look at Christian. I am sure I have just delivered a kick to the gut for him. He would probably almost rather give up half of everything just so he didn't have to tell his family what he has done. I look at my lawyer and signal to him to pull out the big gun.

Mr. Sorrows leans over and whispers to our mediator and slides him another set of papers. The mediator looks over the papers looks at me and asks "Are you sure about this?" I can't speak, I just nod my head.

"Well Mr. Grey , Mrs. Grey is also agreeable to offer option two if you are not willing to agree to the postnuptial agreement. That would be divorce papers still relinquishing all rights to your empire and properties except of course the house and SIP, but a No Contact Order will be put in place immediately for yourself, Ms. Leila Williams and all representatives for either of you and you can walk away today with only agreeing to the two properties you have signed over. Which seems like a very generous offer and gives you the freedom to continue your life uninterrupted by your marriage to Mrs. Grey ."

Again we all sit and wait Christians lawyers are in a whispering frenzy I am sure they are telling him to go for the divorce, but Christian has not moved a muscle. He just continues to stare at me and, out of the corner of my eye, I do notice his jaw is clenched. After what seems like a lifetime, I hear Christian grit out between his teeth.

"I will agree to every stipulation of the post nuptial, but I want an amendment that Anastasia is required to attend marriage counseling for a year, in such a case. And if she chooses to file for divorce in the future, she can't until a full year is completed. As well as any formal separation papers will not be permitted to be filed at all. I also request that such counseling start within a week of my informing my family."

I finally find the strength to look Christian straight in the eyes. All I can see is desperation, love and hope. He really wants to fix us. I am a little caught off guard. He had been so cold. Maybe it was only because he thought he would lose me for good. People make mistakes and I do love him, I just wish that we could go back and none of this had happened, but it's too late now. I wonder for a moment how long I will punish Christian for? Because that's what I'm doing is punishing him. I am pulled out of my own thoughts by my attorney's.

"Mrs. Grey?"

I look at them, then back to Christian, then to Mr. Hightower. "Fine. I will agree to those terms."

The lawyers amend the paper work. Christian and I both sign and that's it. I stand to leave and all of the men in the room stand with me, always such manners no matter the situation. Taylor and Sawyer, who have been in the corner of the room move, in behind me to follow me out of the room. As I am about to pass Christian he steps in front of me, I just stand there looking straight at his tie. Our tie. Of course he wore it today.

"Anastasia, I will set up a family dinner with my parents for tomorrow evening so that I can tell them and Elliot and Mia everything. If you would like to come with me, you could so you can see that I will give full disclosure."

"No Christian, this is your dirt to tell. I did nothing wrong; therefore, my presence is not required. I will know if the full truth is not told. So I have no doubt that you will give full disclosure. Oh, and when you do move Leila here, keep her away from me. I mean it." I say in a clipped tone.

I may love him and we need to work on things to see if we are able to stay together, but I am hurt still and I just can't handle anymore today. I side step him and leave the room with Christian clinching his jaw and pulling his hands through his hair. So hard that I'm surprised he doesn't come out with fist full of hair.


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N_**

**_Hey everyone I am so sorry it has taken so long to update this story for some reason it was just harder to get through. Thank you for the great reviews and all of the PM's I try and answer all of them personally. If I missed anyone I am so sorry. There were a couple issues that readers wanted me to address and I hope I have done that in this chapter. Thank you all that have enjoyed my story you are awesome and I will try and update on a regular basis. _**

**STILL CPOV**

I sit here in my suite nursing my bourbon and thinking I can't believe I just sat for 4 hours in a lawyer's office negotiating. Huh! Negotiating right, I mean giving into all my wife's demands just trying not to lose her. Just a few short months ago we had been so happy. I had so many plans for us she was naïve, happy and innocent and I ruined it all with my stupidity so now I am trying to drown my sorrows. I have never seen her act so cold towards me or anyone for that matter but I can't blame her. I cheated and the realization of it finally hit me only once it was too late. I tried to lie to myself that's not what happened but I am only kidding myself. I am guilty of the ultimate betrayal and it feels like the weight of the world is sitting on my shoulders, the first night I ask her to marry me I remember how desperate I felt to keep her, I knew I couldn't breath without her I never wanted her to leave me she is my talisman against my evil past and I love her more than my own life that wasn't a lie. When she was hurt and had lost our baby I felt devastated I only finally left her side when Flynn came to the Hospital and a bomb was dropped on me that my secret would finally have to come out and I would definitely lose my Ana now. I should have been there for her not abandon her I left her to heal and grieve all alone because I am pathetic and selfish all I could think about was me. I couldn't even look her in the face. I was scared when Leila had showed up with Susannah at SIP to see Ana I just had to get her out of there as fast as possible I was so scared that she was going to tell Ana everything and when she asked me if I was o.k. I was so relieved when Ana didn't question me further about it. It's easy to look back now and think I should have told her that first night when she ask me if I had slept with Leila but I was too much of a coward. Now I have to come clean with my family yeah that's going to be fun. My Mother and Father can still change me back into a 6yr. old so easily. Yet again I have been nothing but a disappointment to them.

Part of me is surprised that Ana didn't file for divorce immediately she gave me two choices, I wonder if she expected me to take the easier way out and go that route but doesn't she know I would do anything to try and keep her. Then again why should she after what I have done? I down the last of my drink and think I need to try and get some sleep since tomorrow will be hell even though I know that I won't , the nightmares have returned and they worse than ever but instead of dreaming about my dead mother and her pimp I dream of Anastasia. We are at Escala and I am telling her about Leila as she has tears streaming down her face and I start begging her for forgiveness but she just stands and gives me a look of disgust I can feel my heart racing and my legs become paralyzed I can't move because I know this is the one thing she will never forgive me for, the one thing that will rip us apart. She turns and walks away from me I am screaming not to leave me but I can't move to stop her. I just need to make this up to her that I can fix it. But she doesn't stop and all I can do is watch her go. The reality of it all is that is pretty much how it happened except she made me leave. I need to make an appointment with Flynn for tomorrow before I see my family. If I have a chance in hell of getting Anastasia back I have to do this. And even then there is no guarantee that in the end that I will. I just need to somehow make her see that I never loved Leila that I made a mistake that I only ever loved Ana. It was never because of love I was stupid and made a bad decision thinking I could undo the harm I had caused Leila and save her the way Ana had saved me.

Jameson has just pulled up in front of my parents home and it looks like everyone is here I see Elliot's car and Mia is home. I would rather be anywhere else but here. But I have to face my punishment. I gather my nerve to finally get out of the car and see my Mother standing in the doorway waiting to greet me. When I reach her I lean down and kiss her on the cheek.

"Christian where's Anastasia?"

"I am sorry she won't be able to make it tonight."

"Oh. I hate that we were looking so forward to seeing her. Well her let her know we miss her. Come in dinner will be ready shortly."

I look up to see my Dad coming down the hall into the foyer where we are standing.

I shake my Father's hand and explain again that Ana couldn't make it when he also asks me. Damn this is going to be hard than I thought they love her so much, I don't know if I can get through this. We walk down the hall into the sitting room FUCK Kate's here I hadn't thought about that. She is going to try and rip my head off I really just wanted my family here tonight. But I guess she is her to find out sooner or later at the most in about 4 months that's if she doesn't already know but by the way she is giving me dirty looks she already knows, because if looks could kill I would already be dead. She has never liked me and this is just going to be one more reason for her to hate me. Well I might as well get it over with all at once. My talk with Flynn this morning was absolutely no help I still haven't figured out why I pay him when he wants me to figure out the solution on my own any way all he could offer was that he agreed with Ana I needed to come clean with my family and that it will be better coming from me than finding out some other way and definitely before the baby gets here, at least this way they will have time to adjust to the situation. And that my family will love me unconditionally but I'm not so sure about that. I believe this is going to be the one thing that will finally change that.

"Hey where's Taylor?" Elliot asks. Figures he would notice I never go anywhere without him shit. "uumm… I wanted him to stay with Ana tonight this is Jameson I just recently brought him on board." I look back at Jameson and tell him that I'm good he can wait for me in the kitchen. No reason to have a bigger audience than necessary; he already knows everything anyway as he was Leila's CPO, I hired another guy to take his place in New York after all she is carrying my baby and if that gets out she could be at risk.

"Well everyone let's move into the dining room dinner is ready to be served."

My Mom gives me a strange look she knows something is up she has always been able to read me almost better than anyone, but she doesn't say anything that's one of the reasons I stayed away so much when I had sub's and was involved with Elena that would have devastated her. I follow my family in to the dining room and once Gretchen my parents house maid has served the main course Mia starts rambling about nothing really I think it's just to break up the tension, I know I am be aloof again and quite but I am nervous about this and everyone can feel it. I keep catching my Mom and Dad giving each other looks like they are just waiting for the bottom to fall out. Then as usual Kate cuts Mia off and to ask me.

"So money bags you never did say where Ana was tonight, so what's up?"

Great the inquisitive Miss. Kavanagh has started the inquisition. Well guess there is no time like the present to get this started. But I'm sure she knows just trying to stir shit up.

"Well that's one of the reasons I am here tonight I have something to tell you all." The room goes deadly silent and now I have every ones attention. Silently I wonder if I should call Jameson back in just in case.

"Before Ana and I were engaged there was an Ex of mine that became quit obsessed with I and Ana's relationship."

Kate interrupts again. "Wait you mean the girl that was in our apartment with a gun?"

Yep Kate wants all the details out in the open, this must have been what Ana meant by she will know if I am honest with my family and give full disclosure. Kate is here to report back to her if it was told to the fullest extent and probably to kill me once it is finished.

My Mother looks shocked "oh my God Christian, please tell me this girl is no longer a danger to either one of you?"

"No but the day that she was in the apartment after I had gotten Taylor get Ana safely out of the apartment and I had taken the gun from her, well …and before someone says anything please just hear me out I know already that I was wrong. We were…intimate."

My Mother's hand fly's to her mouth and she gasps. This next part is going to be so much harder than I could ever imagine.

"I know I know. The night Ana came out of her coma John Flynn called me and said he had to speak to me personally it was urgent, I told he would have to come to the hospital when he got there he informed me that the young woman had contacted him as he had helped me have her committed to a mental facility due to a break down from grief and he was her contact. She told him she was…pregnant with my child." I can't say anymore, I just sit and wait for the fall out. And sure enough Kate jumps to her feet and lunges at me across the table screaming Elliot grabs her around the waist to keep her on their side of the table.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! How could you? in our FUCKING apartment where Ana was still living at the time! I just wanted to see if your smug ass would really come clean. Do you know how devastated she is over this?"

I just hang my head in shame, hearing again how much I have hurt her feels like a knife straight through my heart, but I am sure that is nothing compared to how Ana is feeling right now. My Dad stands and his face is beet red.

"My office NOW!" is all he can get out.

"No Carrick, I want to hear this. If I am going to be a Grandmother I think I have a right to know."

"FINE!" my Dad asks. "Christian is this why Ana is not with you?"

I owe them the truth. This is what Ana wanted she wanted me to have to go through hell just like she is right now.

"Yes it is, Ana and I are separated right now, she had me sign a post-nup and it mainly stipulates that I have to completely be honest about this and not hide it from my family and in return she relinquishes any claim she could have to GEH and we will try marriage counseling for a year to try and save our marriage."

Kate's steely gaze is still on me. "So you agreed to this pretty much to save your precious company? You really are a piece of work."

Now that pisses me off and I jump up out of my chair yelling.

"I could give a shit less about my company right now; I did this trying to save my marriage! If I thought for one second that giving her everything would make her not leave me for good I would give it all to her! But she wouldn't take it!"

My Mom interrupts me. I am so mad I am breathing as hard as I can and my face is completely red I am sure; I can feel my blood boil.

"Christian what is the young ladies name and when is this baby due? How do you know it is really yours?"

"Her name is Leila Williams and the only person she had been with at the time she became pregnant was me. The dates add up, she is due in 4 months."

Elliot and Mia haven't said anything they look like all the blood has drained out of their bodies and neither has my Father he looks too angry to speak now. Kate is now seething and all she can get out is. "I need to go to Ana. I need to let her know that you at least told your family knows the truth finely."

Just as I thought Kate was here to report back to Ana that I am following the Post-Nup. Kate turns and runs out of the house slamming the door with Elliot following her.

"Christian where is the girl now? And I do expect you take responsibility for this child. And poor Ana where is she." My Mom asks.

"Ana is at Escala. And Taylor refuses to be my CPO now as well as Sawyer and Gail who have chosen to stay and take care of Ana, that's why I actually have Jameson and yes of course I will take care of my child, Leila is in New York at the moment as I had her committed in a facility on the east coast. But I am moving her back to Seattle her therapist there say she is fine but she is having complications with the pregnancy and I just feel like if anything happens to my baby I should be able to be there and if it doesn't I want to be able to have visitation. I don't want a relationship with the Mother but I know we will have to find a way to co-parent somehow, I really do not want to hurt Ana any more than I already have and if I could take it all back believe me I would but it is too late and I have to deal with what is happening. I made a huge mistake in judgment and now I am paying for it." I just hang my head again I can no longer look my family in the eye the shame is just too much. My Father finally finds his voice.

"I thought we raised you better than this, after everything Ana has had to go through with you, after everything she has done for this family and now this. You will have a DNA test no matter what and have you even considered the legal ramifications of what this could mean? Considering the fact that the young lady was having a psychotic break down"

"No honestly I have not considered that yet I have been in shock about this myself and yes a DNA test was one of Ana's other stipulations; so of course I will do whatever she ask of me like I said whatever she wants me to do I will do. She has not ask me to turn my back on my child, I she would never do that she is too kind, I just need a chance to make this up to her that's if she gives me the chance."

My Dad looks at me like I have lost my mind. My Mother looks like she is in shock and Mia is still just sitting there.

"Well you will be damn lucky if Ana doesn't divorce you and this Leila or whatever her name is doesn't press any legal charges against you. Do you truly realize how much pain and damage you have done to Anastasia?"

Mia finally stands suddenly and runs out of the room crying her eye's out. Even she can't stand me right now.

"Yes Dad I do, but like I said I can't take it back now, if I could I would, the last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt her I honestly thought I would live with my guilt forever, I never imagined it would end up like this. I know I was being selfish I just wanted Ana so bad. And as far as Leila and legal charges I will consult my lawyers first thing in the morning. Look as I said I made a mistake and used very poor judgment I am trying to the right the wrongs I have done and the pain that this has caused everyone, I truly thought for some reason if I showed Leila the kind of affection as Ana had showed me I would be helping her in my own twisted way she was broken just like I had been. "

"Yeah well you should have thought of Ana before your indiscretion; and doing what you did was NOT helping and it was not your place to try and help other than to get her the therapy she needed."

"Christian I think you should just give us all time to process all of this." My Mom now has tears streaming down her face. I don't think I have hurt her so much in my life even the Elena situation she didn't look as devastated she does now.

"Yes Christian I think you should go for now." My Dad says.

"I truly am sorry that I have hurt so many people." I turn to go thinking I have finally pushed my parents too far. They have never thrown me out of their home and that is exactly what just happened. Jameson walks up behind and then opens the car door for me to get in. once in the car I tell him.

"I need you to start making arrangements to move Miss. Williams right away"

"Yes Sir. I will start first thing in the morning."


	11. AUTHORS NOTE S

AUTHORS NOTE

Ok everyone this is just a little note to help people who seem to be forgetting parts of the story. NO WHERE at any time did Ana say to tell anyone about her miscarriage ONLY about any child conceived outside of their marriage. Ana herself even said I have not told anyone. losing a baby is traumatic enough by using that as a tool would be wrong on both Ana and Christian's part. Also Ana never said to bring up anything about sub's at this point in the story and book his parents do not know and do not need to know. he came clean with what he did and that Leila was an ex. Kate also made sure that they all knew that Ana had been held at gun point by Leila. and as far as Christians parents not concerned about Ana Grace says over and over poor Ana. but as someone who adopted her children of course she will remind him that he is responsible for that child. he does state that he will take care of his child but does not want a relationship with the mother. even though co-parenting pretty much means you have to figure out a way to deal with that person. now for those nasty people that send messages of how could I write a story like this. yes your messages will be deleted and people lets have some common sense here if you do not like it. then DO NOT READ it there are about a hundred romantic no drama FSOG stories to every one cheat story on fanfiction. So you have plenty to read. the whole counseling idea came from an idea from a friend of mine that is in a situation where it has been made mandatory. plus this was only chapter 10 there are a lot of things left to unfold. no one knows what all will come out but me. I am not telling the ending LOL! even though I have a ton of people emailing saying you can tell me I won't tell and I am not singling anyone out cause it has been a lot of them. Thank you to those who are interested in my story and I should have a new update up very soon.


	12. Chapter 11

**APOV**

I am sitting at the breakfast bar picking and pushing around the dinner on my plate that Gail prepared for me. I know I always do this when something is wrong. I don't intentionally stop eating; my appetite just isn't there. I keep thinking how can I still love someone who has hurt me so much? I always doubted that I would be enough to keep Christian, and now I find out that before we were even engaged he betrayed me. I just can't calm my thoughts.

"Mrs. Gre…I mean Ana, Miss. Kavanagh and Mr. Elliot Grey are on their way up." Wow I didn't even hear him come into the room. Was I that engrossed in my thoughts?

"Fine Taylor. Send them in, I will be right there."

This is just what I want to deal with right now. I'm sure they have just come from Grace and Carrick's house, and I don't feel like playing a hundred questions with Kate. Of course, with Kate, it is never just twenty questions, it's always closer to one hundred. I put on my best fake smile and meet them in the great room.

"Kate, Elliot" I say, trying to remain somewhat upbeat.

"Oh Ana. We just left dinner and the sorry bastard told everybody about the whore and how he cheated on you. I would have ripped his head off if Elliot hadn't stopped me." Kate looks truly disappointed in the fact that she didn't get her chance to do just that.

"Well Kate, unfortunately, that wouldn't have changed anything." I tell her.

"Want to bet? I would have felt a hell of a lot better. Ana, do you want me to stay here with you? I will if you want me to; I don't want to leave you alone right now." You gotta love Kate, she is always there for her friends and loyal to the end. You just don't want to get on her bad side. But I really want some time to myself right now.

"No. I just need some time alone." Kate nods in understanding.

I look at Elliot and he has still not said anything. I know this has to be a shock to him. He didn't even reprimand Kate when she called Christian a sorry bastard, and he usually would remind her that he is his brother. But then again, I didn't correct her either.

"Elliot, are you okay? I know this must be hard for you and your family. But I really do think it's for the best that everyone finds out now and not once this baby is already here."

He finally lifts his head to look at me "Ana, I just feel so bad for you. I really want to beat the shit out of my brother right now, and I would if I thought it would help anything."

Kate snaps at him "It would, it would make me feel a hell of a lot better for Ana."

He just looks at her for a minute like he's not sure what to say next.

"Look, I don't what the rest of my family said to him after we left, but my Dad is furious and my Mom is devastated. I want you to know that I am here for you no matter what. You are my little sister, no matter what. Just let me know if you need anything."

Sweet Elliot. He always has such a big heart. I walk forward and he gives me one of his big bear hugs, lifting me off the ground.

"Thank you. I love you, as well as the whole Grey family. Right now though, I just need my house finished so I can get out of this apartment. It holds too many memories."

"Well don't worry little sis. I have my crew working as hard as possible to get it done. But let me know if you need anything else. Even if it is kicking my little brother's ass." Elliot grins at me.

"Not right now but I will let you know if I change my mind. I really just need to get some sleep right now, I am so tired." I say this hoping Kate will take this as a hint that I want to be left alone right now.

"Okay Steele, we are going." She leans in to hug me, and as she does she whispers in my ear where only I can hear her.

"You know, I could write a story and expose everything about him, his whole past kinky lifestyle - everything."

"Yes, I know, but that would just hurt Grace and Carrick and probably make me feel even more humiliated than I already am." I whisper back. She just nods her head giving me a faint smile.

"Okay Kate, lets go and let Ana get some rest." Elliot calls from the foyer.

I see them both out, then turn and head to my bathroom. I need a long, hot relaxing bath. I start the water and pour in the jasmine scented bath oil as I get undressed. When I slip into the water, I think about phase two in my plan for Christian. I will think about the next step tomorrow. I also need to remember to set up an appointment to see Dr. Greene. I need another check-up and I want to talk to her about birth control. I know I am not having sex right, now but I will again at some point. I hate that this has hurt the Greys, but Christian needs to see how many people have been impacted by his actions. This certainly isn't just about him.

**CPOV**

I am sitting in my office reading through some contracts that Ros needs me to sign off on when Jameson knocks once and immediately enters my office. I hate when he doesn't follow protocol and let Andrea buzz me first. Not that I am in a meeting, but still, it irritates the hell out of me. Taylor only did this in an emergency. Boy, do I miss his professionalism. It's not that Jameson isn't good; it's just that Taylor knows me so much better. Even so, I'm glad that he stayed with Ana. I feel better

knowing he will take care of her and protect her. She needs him more than I do. I deserved that punch and I don't blame him in the least.

"Sir" Jameson interrupts my inner thoughts.

"Yes what is it?" I snap.

"Sir, I wanted to inform you that I have secured a condo for Miss. Williams and the jet should be landing within the next hour.

Did you want to meet her there?"

"No Jameson, I don't. I assume that you have given her security instructions of where she will be living and they can take care of everything else. I only want to be notified if there is any kind of danger to my baby. Oh, and here this is an approved list of doctors she can choose from. They have all been vetted with background checks and agreed to sign NDAs ." I hand Jameson the list I had Welch compile.

"Jameson, make sure that Miss. Williams does not get anywhere near my wife. I mean it. Anastasia doesn't want to see her and I don't want to hurt her anymore than she already has been. Do you understand me?"

I give him a steely glare so he understands that I mean business.

"Let everyone know that their jobs will depend on this."

"Yes sir. I will make sure they understand."

"Good. You are dismissed."

**APOV**

I am getting ready for work and my head is so full of thoughts. I feel like I am on autopilot. I finish putting on my make-up and walk to the kitchen to see what Gail has made for breakfast. I really do have to eat; now is not the time to become weak. When I come around the corner, I see Taylor walking through the great room towards his office and I have an idea.

"Taylor"

"Yes Ana." I grin. He is finally getting better about not calling me ma'am.

"Is there any way you could get a crew that's discrete to remodel a room here for me? We still have some time before the new house will be finished and I just thought I would like to make some changes; since we will be stuck here for a little while longer."

At first Taylor looks a little confused, then there is the slightest hint of a smirk, for just a second, on his face.

"I think I could find someone who would meet your specifications. How soon would like for them to start?"

I just smile and tell him as soon as possible. He nods and turns towards the security office. I think that just made my day. Thirty minutes later, Sawyer and I are on our way to SIP. The name was supposed to change to Grey Publishing, but since I will be taking ownership in a couple of weeks once the paperwork is finalized, I decided to keep it as SIP.

The morning seems to fly by and it's lunchtime before I know it. Hannah, my assistant, enters my office with a plate for my packed lunch and takes a seat across from my desk. It has become a Monday ritual for us to eat lunch together and go through my schedule for the week. I let her know I need her to schedule an appointment with Dr. Greene and to also coordinate with Christian's PA, Andrea, to set a time to see Dr. Flynn for next week. I am supposed to start joint counseling sessions with Christian by then and I am really not looking forward to them. I honestly thought he would just go for the divorce option. I tried to make his first choice as miserable as possible, thinking he wouldn't do it, so he could keep his little secret. But of course, he chose option one any way and his only request was for counseling. That's fine. I will put him through his paces. I have a lot to say; not only to Christian, but to the good Dr. Flynn as well.

As Hannah and I are finishing up, I hear my cell phone vibrating in my desk drawer. I take my phone out, as I know it is not Christian. I haven't changed his ring tone yet. Maybe I should. Your Love is King certainly no longer seems appropriate. When I see that it's Jose calling, I answer.

"Hey Ana how are you doing?"

"I'm fine. What are you up to?" I wonder if he's talked to Kate. I really hope not. I don't want to discuss this right now.

"Well, I am going to be back in Seattle again in a couple of days and wanted to know if you would like to get together, maybe for lunch or dinner or something. Bring Christian, of course.

Thank God it doesn't sound like Kate has spoken to him yet. It would be nice to have a distraction from everything.

"Yeah sure, Jose, that would be great. Christian is going to be busy this week, but I would love to get together. How long will you be here for?"

"Two days. I have been commissioned by a big wig to take promotional pictures for his company."

"That's great. Hey, why don't you stay with me again? There is plenty of room; no use in staying in a hotel and I will even cook dinner for us.

"Awesome. I was hoping you would say that. I will see you this Thursday, Ana."

"I can't wait. I will see you then."

I hang up just as Hannah buzzes me to let me know my appointment withDr. Greene is this Wednesday and I have Dr. Flynn's appointment next Monday and she has noted everything on my calendar. Well, at least I will get to see my friend before I have to go into the shit storm on Monday. Hopefully I will be able to get my mind off everything for a couple of days.

By the time I get home I feel exhausted again. Why can't my life just have less drama? As I am pouring myself a glass of wine, Taylor enters the kitchen.

"Ma'am."

I sigh loudly "Taylor. It's Ana, remember? You were doing so well with it this morning."

"Right. My apologies. Ana, I wanted let you know I have someone to do the remodeling that you inquired about. They have already had their background check and have agreed to sign an NDA. They are available to meet with you tomorrow evening to go over what you have planned."

"And are they familiar with the kind of remodeling I want done?" I ask.

"Yes, this is their specialty."

"Perfect. Thank you, Taylor. Oh, before I forget, my friend Jose will be staying here for a couple of days. He is arriving on Thursday, as he has work in Seattle and I offered that he could stay here instead of getting a hotel, so I need a guest room ready for him."

"I will inform Mrs. Jones. Is there anything else Ana?"

"Yes, has Hannah emailed over my schedule for the rest of the week?"

"She has, and she has also informed us of your appointment on Monday as well."

"Great. Thank you, Taylor."

It's late, so I think I will just see what I can munch on in the refrigerator. It's better than eating nothing at all, which is honestly my first choice. I would rather just go straight to bed. But I must keep myself strong. I will not be the weak person in this.

I think about Jose's visit later this week and allow myself to ponder for a moment. Christian would be throwing the biggest fit right now about him calling; screaming how Jose only wants in my panties. But when you do what he's done, you really don't get a say anymore. He can't understand having ONLY a friendship with the opposite sex. Since he obviously can't know or help the opposite sex without keeping his dick in his pants.

Ugh! Stop! I am not going to become the cold, bitter wife, separated wife, whatever you want to call it. I just want to see if he ever feels hurt like I do. I know he had a lot happen to him when he was little, but the kind of hurt he inflicts on women is a totally different thing. _Don't do this to yourself, Ana. Stay strong and focused_. Forget it, I am going to bed.

**LPOV **

I can't believe I am back in Seattle, finally closer to Christian. I mean, surely I don't call him Master now. I am carrying his child after all. Surely he must care about me; he flew to New York when I had to go into the hospital. And even though he said it was only because of the baby and there was nothing else between us, I saw how he looked when he saw our child on the ultra sound and when he heard the heart beat.

He may think he is in love with his precious Anastasia, but now that we will be around each other, seeing our child grow, it will only be a matter of time before he is all mine. He won't even remember her name. He was very touchy already when I inquired about her. I wouldn't be surprised if things are already starting to crumble between them. Yes, it's only a matter of time. I think as I smile to myself.

This condo is huge and gorgeous. It's obvious he only wants the best for me. I even have my own security. I was so happy to find out he no longer has that Taylor. He was such a jerk and hateful, but Jameson seems much more agreeable.

Christian sent over a list of doctors for me to choose from. He must have been too busy to meet me at the plane, but that's okay. I'm sure I will see him later. In the mean time, I think I will just research the best the doctors on the list he sent. I know he would want only the very best doctor in Seattle for the baby and me.

**CPOV**

This week so far has been crap. On Monday, Leila had to finally arrive, and yesterday, I let go of four people from my acquisitions team. Everyone is feeling my wrath right now. I am screaming at a Mr. Hymmond, or whatever his name is, in the middle of our quarterly meeting. "What the FUCK is this bullshit you brought me?!" I turn and throw my coffee mug against the wall and watch as it shatters and coffee runs down the wall. I jump up when Jameson comes flying into our boardroom with a look on his face that tells me something else is going to piss me off.

"Mr. Grey, I need to speak to you right away."

I turn and tell Ros to finish up the meeting and leave the room with Jameson, who looks like he would rather jump off a cliff than have to tell me whatever is going on.

"Jameson what the hell is it?! Is it Ana, my family, what's happened?"

"Well not exactly Sir."

"What the hell do you mean, not exactly? Just tell me what is going on!" I am out of mind with the worse case scenarios playing in my head now. Surely Ana's not hurt. Taylor and Sawyer would never let her get hurt, and if she is, I need to get to her NOW.

"Sir it seems that Miss. Williams had a doctors appointment today and… well Sir, Mrs. Grey is also there at the doctors office."

"What? Why would Leila be at a doctor's office that Ana's at, and exactly what kind of doctor is this? Is Ana sick?"

"Sir, Miss. Williams is at a Dr. Greene's office."

Oh shit! What the hell is Leila up to? Dr. Greene was not on the approved list of doctors I told her she could see. That's Ana's doctor. I would never let Leila go there.

"Jameson, pull the car around NOW!"

I have got to get there and get Leila out of there. I hope to god that Ana didn't see her, and if she did, I need to try and explain somehow. Great, the one thing that Ana specifically said was to keep Leila away from her and now both women are in the same office. Where the FUCK was Leila's security? They had plain instructions that she could only see the doctors on the list I gave them.

We come to a screeching halt in front of Dr. Greene's office and I see Sawyer by the front door, along with one of my guy's on the other side. Sawyer moves to block the doors. I have jumped out of the car and rush to the door.

"Sawyer, I swear I am not here to cause any problems, there has been a miscommunication and I need to get Miss. Williams out of there so Ana doesn't get upset. I promise that is all I am here for. I don't want Ana hurt anymore than she already is and we both know that as soon as

she sees her, she will be devastated."

Sawyer gives me one long look and finally moves to the side so I can go in, but he falls in line right behind me. I am sure he intends to make certain that nothing more will happen. I want to ask him where the hell he was also before Leila made it through the doors, but I am sure he wouldn't answer me, and if I think about it, Ana probably told him to stay with the car. I see Leila sitting in a chair in the waiting room reading a magazine. Thank god. Maybe Ana doesn't know that she is here and I can get her out before she comes back. I wonder why Ana's here though? I'll need to ask that at our appointment with John. I reach Leila and grab her arm near her elbow and almost jerk her out of the chair. I have to remind myself that she is pregnant.

"Christian! I am so glad you are here. I knew you would want to be here to see how the baby is doing."

She looks ecstatic, but I am seething. I lean in towards her and grind out through my teeth.

"I don't know what the FUCK you are doing here, but you are leaving right now!"

I think the last part came out louder than I intended, as several people have now turned to watch this little exchange. Leila just looks startled. I try to turn and drag her along with me and she is protesting the whole time.

"Christian why can't I see this doctor? She is the top OB/GYN in Seattle and I know that you only want the very best for me and the baby."

I am furious. I know she is the best, that's why Dr. Greene is Ana's doctor, but the doctors on the list I gave Leila were just fine. I turn to get in her face again to tell her we are leaving. Just then, the door opens to the waiting room and I see Ana come from out of the back towards us so she can exit. Sawyer walks to her and she holds up her hand to halt him, never taking her eyes off of us. I drop my hand from the grip I had on Leila's arm and I am just mesmerized by my wife. God, she is so beautiful. I just want to take her in my arms and never let her go, but I can't do that. She hates me. Can I blame her? And now she has to see me here – with Leila. Could this get any worse?

Ana is finally standing right in front of Leila and I. She looks back and forth and then down at Leila's baby bump. She never says anything. It feels like time is frozen. And as if in slow motion, I watch her as she slides off her wedding band and engagement ring and places them in Leila's hand, that shoots out automatically to take them.

"Ana"

She holds her hand up to stop me from saying anything else. But I can see the hurt in her eyes. She turns, steps around us, and leaves with Sawyer right behind her, never saying a word.


	13. Chapter 13

Still CPOV

Oh shit. I am never going to able to fix this am I? Every time I turn around my life gets more fucked up than it already is. The one thing Ana warned me about just happened; and now I will never get the look of devastation on her face out of my mind.

I turn back to Leila grab her wrist and squeeze it to make her open her hand and snatch Ana's rings out of it, I take her by the arm again and pull her out of the office, practically dragging her as we get to the SUV. I see her security and Jameson is already tearing him a new one. I turn to Leila and I swear she is almost wearing a smirk on her face. I can finally see the real her. Why did I ever think I could fix her? I jeopardized everything for someone I don't love and can now see just how manipulative she truly is. I open the car door and practically shove her in as she looks back at me.

"Christian I am sorry. I didn't mean to cause more trouble. I just assumed you would really want the best for us," she says as she rubs her stomach.

"Leila. Just stop. I gave you a list of where you could go, and I meant ONLY those doctors. And don't insult me with your fake apologies, we both know the damage you have caused here today and if you think for one second that I believe you, you really are mentally unstable and no amount of psychiatric care will ever help you." I slam the door in her face.

"Jameson, the incompetent security that you've hired is to return Miss. Williams to her home then I want them gone. Get someone that can actually follow instructions from ME not Miss. Williams!"

I head back to my SUV and wait on him. Today has turned to shit, so there is no reason to return to the office. I might as well head back to the hotel where I can do nothing but daydream about Ana and prepare for more nightmares tonight. I look at the rings I still hold clutched in my hand, and I swear if it's the last thing I do, I will find some way to returns these to their rightful place on Ana's finger.

APOV

My tears are flowing freely down my face and there is nothing I can do to stop them. And that does nothing but make my anger rise even more. I don't want to cry over this, over him. I am just so mad and it seems once I am this mad my temper is hard wired to my tear ducts.

The one thing I never wanted to see was Christian and Leila playing happy family. She looked so proud of herself, and he seemed like he was waiting for a murder sentence. She asked me before what I had that she didn't – well, besides my rings, nothing.

give those to her also. She has my husband, is pregnant with his baby when I should be, so take my damn rings while your at it, psycho. And he thought I would listen to his excuses. Really? He has underestimated me this time. He wants to talk on Monday at Flynn's? Oh, there will be talking, but I am going to be the one doing it.

I have let lawyers, mediators and actions do my talking thus far, but not anymore. I always want to see the good in people and look where that has gotten me. I wonder if that crazy bitch knew she was pregnant when she came to my office. Maybe that was her real motive for wanting to see him so badly, not to thank him but to maybe see where he and I stood in our relationship. Hmm…and asking him when she left was he o.k. There was something more to that question. I realize that now; I just don't know what it was. But he was so determined to distract me and change the subject that I never did question it. I even defended her actions. And now I'm the fool.

"Ana" I hear Sawyer call as he opens my door, we have arrived at Escala and I didn't even notice. I am so glad that they are no longer calling me Mrs. Grey. I sure don't feel like Mrs. Grey and as much time as we all spend together, it's just too formal.

"Sorry, Sawyer. Thank you," I say as I get out and make my way to the elevator. I turn when I hear Sawyer say my name again.

"Ana, I am so sorry that I didn't get to the door fast enough to prevent Miss. Williams from entering the office. They pulled up right in front of the door to let her out instead of parking. I should have come in with you and it wouldn't have happened. I promise it won't happen again."

Poor Sawyer, he looks so miserable. "Sawyer, it's not your fault. There was nothing you could do if they pulled up right in front of the door. Besides, out of all of the doctors in Seattle, Christian could have had her see any number of them instead of my doctor. He knew I was going to have another check-up after everything that's happened. So if anyone is to blame, it's him."

I really hope I have eased his mind a little. It truly was not his fault. As we arrive in the penthouse, it's filled with the wonderful aroma of dinner. Gail never fails, she is the best cook.

"Good evening, Gail. Dinner smells amazing. I am starved." I tell her as I head to the kitchen.

"Good evening Ana, thank you. I prepared roasted chicken with rice pilaf and steamed vegetables. I hope that's o.k," she smiles at me. I love Gail, she is like my second Mother and right now that's exactly what I need.

"That sounds wonderful, just let me change into something more comfortable and put my brief case down and I will be ready to eat. Oh Gail, I know Taylor told you my friend is arriving tomorrow to stay a couple of days, but I promised to prepare dinner for him. Something I used to do all of the time when we were in college together, so don't worry about cooking tomorrow. I will leave work a couple of hours early so I can do it."

"Oh yes, Taylor did inform me about your friend. I have already prepared the guest room upstairs for him. Is there anything specific you need me to go to the market for?"

"Probably, I will make a list of what I need and you could pick it up for me tomorrow if you don't mind?"

"I don't mind at all, I will be happy to."

"Thank you, Gail. I don't know what I would do without you."

I turn and go to the library, which I use as my office, to put down my briefcase. I really need to get some work done tonight, but I have just felt so tired lately; all the drama is just draining. I'll be so happy to see Jose tomorrow and spend a couple days with him. It will help take my mind off of everything. Maybe I should call Kate and invite her to join us. I'll call after I have dinner, right now I just want to get out of these work clothes.

I can't believe I ate so much at dinner and now I am just going to crawl into my bed and get some sleep. I should be working, but I will have to get it done tomorrow at the office. I drift off to sleep and end up dreaming of my honeymoon and all of the happy memories, until turns into a nightmare; a nightmare where a very pregnant Leila shows up and Christian turns his back on me, walking away with her, leaving me standing there alone. I wake up drenched in a cold sweat. Ugh! Even my happy memories feel tainted now. I change from my nightgown into one of Christian's t-shirts and climb back into bed hoping sleep will find me.

CPOV

FUCK! I just threw my phone against the wall and now it's smashed into pieces. I just got off the phone with Elliot. It seems that photographer Jose Rodfuckingriguez is going to be in town staying with Ana at the penthouse for a few days. Ana is preparing dinner for everyone tonight, and has also invited Kate and Elliot over to join the fun. It's killing me knowing he's going to be staying the night with her alone, especially since I know he wants in her panties. Of course, I can't even speak to my wife right now because of my own stupidit. And Leila's most recent stunt has most definitely not helped my cause.

I thought taking responsibility for my child was the right thing to do, but maybe I should have just walked away. I don't know what the right thing is anymore. I know now how deeply my reaction to Ana being pregnant with our baby truly hurt her. She has no idea how devastated I was when the doctors told me she had lost the baby as a result of Hyde's attack. The days that followed that revelation are a blur. I was in such a state of shock from the bomb Flynn dropped on me while Ana was unconscious that I couldn't face her, so instead, I left her all alone. In my mind I was trying to delay the inevitable. I somehow rationalized it in my own head; knowing that even though I was hurting her, I was still in the same home with her, still in the same bed as her. I was terrified for the day that would end and it has proven to be far worse than I could have imagined.

I selfishly took one last night of love with her before I knew my life would be torn apart; because I no longer had a choice I had to finally tell her the truth. I'd give anything to take it all back. I don't think I would survive if Ana moved on with the boy. She's mine. She's supposed to be mine, she's been only mine and I am not going to let her go without a fight. I can't let her go. I need to know what she is doing.

"Andrea!" I buzz her at her desk.

"Yes Sir."

"Get me a new phone and send in Jameson now!" I scream. I may not have a CPO that will report to me on her anymore, but I will put surveillance on her dammit.

APOV

I am so glad it is finally Thursday. I cannot wait to get out of here to see all of my friends. I did end up getting a lot more accomplished than I thought I would, and I am finally caught up. Now it's time to get home and start dinner. I am determined to enjoy my time with friends am going to try not to even think about the disastrous events that occurred on Monday.

Gail is awesome. Even though I told her not to worry about dinner tonight, she prepared appetizers for us so we can have a little something to eat and drink before dinner begins. The ping of the elevator alerts me that one of my guests has arrived. I run to the foyer to meet whoever it is, waving off Taylor. When the doors open, there stands Jose. He looks the same as always, with open arms and a huge smile. When he steps out, I almost throw myself into his arms. My friend is here and I desperately need that connection right now. It feels like it has been years since I have seen him and after all of the drama, I need someone who has always stood by me.

"WOW! Ana, it's good to see you too. Ha!Ha!Ha!" Jose is beaming at me. But I can hear the under current of concern from my actions.

"Sorry, I am just so glad to see you. Come in. Kate and Elliot will be here soon." I say, as I step into the great room.

I wipe my tears and put a big smile on my face that doesn't truly reach my eyes. "Come on, let me show you to your room."

"Man Ana, the view is just as amazing as I remember from the last time I was here. I really should take some photos of this."

And again, I am treated to that wonderful smile of his. For just a moment, I think of how my life would have been if had only chosen to spend it with him, how uncomplicated things might have been. But I know I would have never loved him the way that I love Christian, and that would not have been fair to him. I shake my head quickly to rid myself of these thoughts before he notices and move us back down to the living room.

"So Jose, what do you want to drink?"

"Oh you know me, I would rather have a beer than that fancy wine you serve these days."

I smile again in spite of myself, and for the first time in quite a while it's not fake. The elevator pings again and in walks Kate and Elliot.

Kate has the biggest smile and comes running over to hug Jose. She is so excited that she is reminding me of Mia for a second. "Oh my god Jose, I have not seen you forever!" Kate is screeching.

And there is that brilliant smile of his again. I pour Kate and I a glass of wine out of Christian's cellar that I am sure cost more than my paycheck. Oh well! Elliot being a guy's guy, opts for a beer like Jose. Dinner goes well with easy conversation mostly talking about Jose's success and Kate's busy schedule working for the paper. Even if she did get the job thanks to her Dad, she is loving what she does and she's damn good at it too.

Elliot and I pretty much sit back and just listen. Every once in a while, Elliot catches my eye like he wants to ask how I am doing, but I am adamant that this night not be spoiled. After Kate and Elliot finally leave, I start clearing the table to do the dishes with Jose's help. As we are loading the dishwasher, Jose asks me what is really going on without ever looking up at me. It stops me in my tracks and I am not sure how much I should say. Ray doesn't know about any of this, and I don't want him to know until this whole thing plays out, because I am honestly still not sure where it is going to go. Until I make a final decision, I don't need anymore opinions thrown my way and Ray is sure to have a very strong opinion on everything that has happened.

"Come on Ana, I know you better than almost anyone, and I didn't say anything during dinner because I could tell you were just trying to get through it, and no matter how busy you say your husband is, he would have been home at some point tonight and it is now after one o'clock in the morning and still no Christian."

"Jose, we are just going through some growing pains; that's all nothing big. Every marriage will have bumps in the road at some point." I so hope he will buy this.

"Bumps in the road, yes. Your husband is not living at home. Now come on and just tell me. I know you are worried I will tell Ray, but you are one of my best friends and I promise I will not do that to you. I won't betray your trust. I have always said if you needed me I would be there for you, and it looks like you need me now, so spill."

I am practically biting my lip completely off; it's now a nervous habit I have when I don't want to talk about something, but Jose is looking me straight in the eye now and I know he is not going to let this go. I might as well fill him in.

"Fine, but I need you to really promise not to tell Ray."

"O.k. I won't tell Ray, I promise."

"Well it seems Christian is going to be a father in just under four months now."

Jose looks completely shocked. "Wait, you don't look over five months pregnant so how or should I ask who?"

"Well Christian had an ex-girlfriend that became obsessed with him when we were dating and just before we were engaged they slept together." I can't explain about a sub, so girlfriend is the best explanation.

"Wait a minute...but you two were already living together when this must have happened." Now he just looks mad.

"Yeah, that's why he is not here. I kicked him out and made him sign over the publishing company that he had bought when I first started working there and the house he bought for us that is currently being remodeled. I want the security of my own company, and honestly, I wanted to make sure that he didn't get to keep the house that I fell in love with in case he decides to give it to the ex-girlfriend. I know that sounds bitchy, but I am hurt and mad right now and really don't care how all this looks. I don't want Ray to know because I am uncertain where Christian and I stand."

"Where you stand? Are you serious? Ana you can't be this naïve. He cheated and you're considering taking him back?" Yeah he is really mad now.

"I didn't say right now. I am not going to make things easy for him and I have set stipulations, but Jose, I can't just run away from this. How do you stop loving someone without at least fighting for them first? Love doesn't just turn on and off like that. And anyone who says it does is kidding himself. It's easy for other people to say 'oh you can't love him and need to just leave' because they are on the outside looking in. No one knows how I feel but me. I don't want Ray to know yet because I need to see how everything plays out. Yes, he made a mistake, but I need to know that leaving is what I really want to do.

be honest, I am not convinced this is his baby. There was a lot going on at the time she got pregnant."

"Okay, Ana. If this is what you want, I will stand beside you because I know once you set your mind to something there is no changing it."

"Thank you, Jose. You really are one of my best friends, but I don't want to talk about this again while you're here. We are gonna have fun and take my mind off everything for the next couple of days, okay?"

"Sure. Tomorrow I have to do this shoot and then we can do anything you want."

"How about we go to dinner with Kate and Elliot and after go out for drinks? We haven't done that in a long time."

"That sounds fun. You call Kate."

"I will call her tomorrow. Now tell me all about what you have been up to over the last few months. W hen I saw you at your gallery showing you had your own little fan club going of beautiful women. Anyone special?" Jose blushes and looks like he doesn't want to tell me.

"Well there was this one girl a while back. I thought I could see it going somewhere, with but it was very short lived. One day she was there and the next she was just gone. There hasn't really been anyone since then."

Poor Jose I wish he could find someone special, he really deserves it. He is so sweet and loyal so there has to be a girl out there somewhere for him. He just hasn't met the right one yet.

The rest of the weekend goes by way too fast and I find myself telling Jose goodbye all too soon on Sunday evening. He has been a great distraction, but tomorrow it's back to reality – a reality where I have to face Flynn and Christian. I have another restless night of nightmares. It seems like that's the one thing that Christian left behind for me. Ugh!

CPOV

I am sitting at my desk looking at photos of Ana from her weekend with that fucker Jose. She's at dinner with Elliot and Kate and then it looks like they are at some bar and she is drinking and dancing and having a great time. She is laughing and seems to not have a care in the world. I guess she isn't as upset about our separation as I am. I don't want her to know that I had her followed, but I want to confront her so bad at Flynn's office today. I am furious. Jameson knocks and comes right in as usual. Why the hell can't he follow protocol?

"Sir it's time to leave for your appointment." I take one last look at Ana's face and she looks so happy and I can feel my heart ache for

One day of my stupidity and I ruined everything. Well, it's time to

her.

face the music – again.

I walk into Flynn's office and the receptionist tells me I can go right in. When I open the door, I see Ana already seated at the end of the couch near a box of tissues and I feel that ache for her again. I shake John's hand and take a seat at the other end of the couch, never taking my eyes off of Ana. I want to take in all of her and store it to memory. I just wish she would turn around so I could see her eyes.

John starts by calling our attention back to him. "Ana, Christian, I know this is hard on both of you, so today I want you both to be honest with each other and tell each other what you are feeling. I am just here to keep things from escalating too far. So who would like to start?"

Before I even get a chance to respond to him Ana whips her head around so fast it had to hurt. I finally see her eyes and they are cold and dead looking. The last time I saw her look like this was the morning she kicked me out of Escala.

"I'll start John. How about we start with why you weren't really there when the authorities should have contacted when things escalated to the point where I was being held at gun point by his sub, who by the way is now carrying his child? Instead of talking sense into him, you let your patient make the decision to ship her off and sweep it all under the carpet. You knew that wasn't right and charges should have pressed. You crossed the line from psychiatrist to friend with Christian a long time ago and you let your friendship cloud your professional opinion. Given that gross error, I don't think you are the best person to counsel either one of us on this subject!"

"Now Ana, I think you have misplaced anger right now that you are projecting on me." John tries to reason with her.

"No I don't think, I know I have anger and it isn't misplaced! You let the control freak completely take over. You stood back and said absolutely nothing. You helped cover up a crime, John – a crime against me. And if you want to know where my anger is at with Christian, I will let you know! Christian, I just want to know how a man who was supposedly always monogamous with his subs couldn't even be monogamous while in a committed relationship? You sure as hell gave me the whole speech about how you didn't share and I was yours over and over. Yet you sure showed me that in reality, you had no problem sharing yourself and the one thing that was supposed to be mine. You gave that to her, to a gun toting, dirty psychopath!"

"Ana, I know I messed up. Please believe me that I never wanted to hurt you. I acted without thinking. All I could see was someone I had broken and I needed to heal her the way you healed me from my broken past. I'm so fucking sorry. I love you and I promise if you give me the chance, I will spend until the end of eternity making this up to you."

"Making it up to me? Ha! Christian, I was pregnant with our baby and you walked out on me and went running to your ex. I have a gun pulled on me by your ex-sub and you consoled the sub that held the gun instead of me, you threw me out of my own apartment and made love to her on my bed. You gave her more. And then you dressed her up in my clothes and sent her away and then lied when I asked you point blank if you slept her. On my fucking bed. In my home.

But that isn't even the worst of it. No, the worst part is when I lost our baby, OUR BABY. A baby you didn't even want, and where were you? Worried about what you were going to do about the same sub carrying your child. And yes, to me she is nothing more than a submissive whore, so I refuse to call her anything else other than a sub. She took everything that was supposed to be mine, so I made sure she even got the damn wedding band that no longer seemed to mean anything. It no longer holds any promise to me, so she might as well just have it. Then again, I guess it never really did. Our whole relationship, our marriage, is based on nothing but lies."

"Ana, I deserve every ounce of your anger, but when I put those rings on your finger, I meant everything they stood for - I swear. I knew what I had done was wrong and knew I had to carry that guilt for the rest of my life and I wanted to spend my life with only you, loving you and trying to make up for everything."

"Christian, to make up for everything is going to be almost impossible. I will not bow down to you anymore, will not let you control me anymore. I am now in control of my life and what happens with us. And if you can't live with the fact that you will no longer have that control over me , you really do need to walk away right now and finish the all American Dream with your little readymade family you have going right now!"

"Ana, why did you even offer this option to me because it doesn't seem like you want to even try to work this out? I have agreed to all of your terms and will do whatever it takes to fix us. I will give you everything I have if that's what you want, just please give me a chance."

"You know why I gave you two options? Because honestly, I thought you would never agree to any of this. I figured you would just divorce me and keep everything your dirty secret. You just don't get it. I never wanted any of your money or possessions, all I ever wanted was you, but obviously that was just too much to ask for. You want to fix this. I agreed to counseling, but it sure as hell won't be here with Flynn. It will be with someone I pick and you will show up or that part of the contract will be voided, because after seeing you and her together, I truly have no desire to sit through a year of being in a room with you trying to convince me you only care and worry about a child that you conceived with someone else while you were cheating on me.

sounds bitchy, then so be it, but remember I am now what you turned me into.

I don't expect you to turn your back on your baby, but I don't need my face rubbed into it either. I will have Hannah contact Andrea and give her all the details about the new therapist and if you don't show, I will take that as you no longer expect me to go through with the year of counseling. But you absolutely have to have that DNA test done because right now you are just going on the word of an unstable psycho. And I am not so convinced that child is even yours, but I am sure your ego doesn't want to admit that." With that she turns marches out of the office, slamming the door behind her. All I can do is sit here in shock. Even John isn't saying anything. God dammit, Ana is right. How could I not see this before? I am simply taking Leila's word that the baby is mine and honestly I don't know what she could have been doing during the time we couldn't find her. What the fuck will I do if this isn't my baby? If all of this heartache was for nothing? No matter what, I will fight for Ana. I'll always fight for her.

Ana honestly thought that I would just divorce her and walk away and I will never do that. The truth is out now, just like she asked, so there is nothing left to hang over my head. I'll be damned if I will ever agree to sign divorce papers. I will use every dime I have to fight her on it and to prove that I only love her. The road to forgiveness from Ana is going to be a very long and hard road to travel, but one I will gladly walk to have her by my side again.


	14. Chapter 14

**KPOV**

"Oh no! Elliot, I have to go check on Ana. If she sees this first, she is going to freak."

"What is it babe?"

"Here, look. That sleazy rag for gossip, the Nooz, has printed a story about Ana and your brother. The last thing Ana wanted was a lot of attention called to this."

"What does it say? Does it talk about that woman and Christian?"

"No. Here, just read it."

_The Seattle Nooz has received information that all may not be well in paradise for Seattle's own Royal couple, Anastasia and Christian Grey. As everyone knows, the couple married just a few short months ago at Grey's parents home in Bellevue. But our sources have seen Anastasia out on the town recently, accompanied by a new up and coming photographer,Jose Rodriguez,along with Grey's Brother Elliot Grey and his fiancé Katherine group was first spotted having dinner at Canlis, followed by drinking and dancing the night away at the Foundation , Christian Grey was nowhere in sight. Our source also reported he has been spending his nights in a luxurious suite at the Fairmont. Is it splitsville for these two? What could have possibly happened to cause a rift between our own Royal couple? Our readers are anxious to know. We are now on the hunt for more information on this couple here at the Nooz. _

"Kate! They have pictures of Ana dancing with Jose, you know Christian is going to go batshit."

"Honestly Elliot, I could care less what Christian is going to think. My concern is for Ana. She is going to freak out, because not only is it on the Nooz, but all of the major newspapers and tabloids have plastered these pictures all over the front pages, and she didn't want Ray to find out."

"Well, I am going to go see Christian to try and do some damage control. I know he made his own bed, but you know how jealous he is and I don't want him going crazy on Ana."

"Fine babe, I will see you later. Let me get over to SIP to see how Ana is. Call me later."

"Yeah,laters."

**APOV**

Shit,shit,shit! I am holding this morning's paper and splashed across the front page are pictures of me and Jose dancing and drinking, followed by a story of how Christian is not living at our home and staying at the Fairmont. I'm just sitting here waiting for either Christian or my dad to call, and I honestly don't know what I am going to say to either one of them. Christian is going to give me a lecture about being more discrete, and my dad is going to want to know what is happening with my marriage.

UGH! I just wanted to have some fun with my friends for one night and not think of all of the damn drama going on in my life. When Hannah buzzes me, I am so on edge I about jump out of my seat. _Get a grip Ana_.

"Yes, Hannah?"

"I have Miss. Kavanagh here to see you."

Great, Kate is here. I'm not sure if I am up to her so early in the morning. I hope she isn't here to lecture me about something too; like how I should just leave Christian.

"Send her in, Hannah."

Kate comes bursting though my door like a tornado, as usual, and plops down in the chair in front of my desk.

"Ana, I take it by the look on your face you have already seen the Nooz website and all of the papers."

"I didn't read the Nooz, but yes, I have seen the papers and that's bad enough. I am just waiting on the phone calls that I am sure are coming from Ray and Christian." I give her a defeated look.

"Well, I don't know what to say to Ray. It may be time to come clean with him about what's going on. And as for Christian, who cares?"

"I care, Kate. Just because Christian did something wrong does not mean I want him to think I cheated. Two wrongs do not make a right, and even though we are not living together right now, I am still married. And as far as Ray goes, I was trying to keep him out of the loop long enough to see where this is going before I tell him."

And right on cue, my phone rings with Love is Your King. Great, just what I want to do while Kate is here.

"Look Kate, I need to take this call. I will see you later."

"Alright, I will talk to you tonight. Laters."

"Laters"

"Hello Christian."

**CPOV**

"Hello Anastasia, so it takes making the front page for you to take my calls? Look, I know I made a mistake, and I would do anything to take it back, but it looks like you already have a replacement for me, Mrs. Grey."

"Don't you dare start to lecture me Christian Grey! If it were not for all of the bullshit that you caused, I would have been at home with you. But instead, I needed my friends to help me take my mind off of the hurt YOU caused and now I have to tell Ray. So you may want to add extra security!"

"Okay. You're right, Ana. I shouldn't have taken that tone with you. I'm sorry. I just hate seeing you with someone else like that. I love you and I miss you so much. Please just let me fix this. Don't make me wait until after the baby is born. I will make this up to you, I promise. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you if you just give me a chance."

"Look Christian, I can't do this right now. We will discuss this on Friday at the new therapist's office. But, I promise you, as much as I hate this whole situation, I would never cheat on you. It's just not who I am. When I said I was yours, I meant it and I still do. Having said that, I just don't know if I can handle having your ex-sub in our life all the time and playing happy step-mom. I know it's selfish, but I loved our baby and you never did. That's very hard for me to accept, when I watch you take care of your baby now. A baby you want - with the crazy woman who held me at gunpoint."

She hangs up before I can say anything else. SHIT! I throw my coffee mug and watch with satisfaction as it crashes against the wall. Why the hell does it always end like this when I try to talk to her? If only she would listen to me.

Well, at least I got to hear her voice, even if she didn't say what I wanted to hear. I want to hold her. I want to be the one to make her laugh. I want to see her shatter beneath me and hear her breathy I love you Christian when we make love. But right now, I want to bend her over my desk, rip her panties off and fuck her hard and fast first to reclaim what's **MINE.**

It has been too long since I have had her and I get a hard on at the slightest thought of her, no matter what the situation is. Damn, even right now I need to adjust myself because it feels like my dick is going to bust out of my pants.

I pick up my phone and buzz Andrea to tell her to get me the head of our PR department. It seems like I am always doing damage control these days. Not ten minutes later, in walks Simon Craig. I really don't like him. He is short, thin, and has a face that reminds me of a weasel. He also seems to put me on high alert whenever I have to deal with him, but his background report came back clean and he is a genius at what he does.

"Craig, have you seen the morning papers and the trash on the Nooz web site?"

"Yes, Mr. Grey and I have a plan of action ready to go. I just need your approval to move forward."

He hands me some press releases and tells me that he can get the stories pulled right away.

"Fine, just get this shit shut down now!"

Ana and I do not need this aired so publicly. I have already humiliated her enough and now she will is being humiliated again. At this rate, I am never going to win her back.

I talked to my legal department to see if I could force Leila to do a DNA test now, instead of waiting for her to give birth. Unfortunately, they told me absolutely NOT, especially considering the fact that she is having complications. Any testing would require her consent, and I know there is no way in hell she will consent to a paternity test. She is going to drag this out as long as possible. I could try to go through the court system, but by the time anything would get resolved, the baby will already be here. So I am forced to wait it out and I don't do waiting FUCK!

And now I have to see this new psychiatrist, Darren Adams, and I hate it. But that's who Ana picked, so that's who we will see. I don't feel comfortable with someone new, but Ana had a point, maybe I have gotten too comfortable with John and he no longer has an unbiased opinion. Besides, given our current predicament, what Ana wants, Ana gets.

Ana wanted me at one time and it is scaring the shit out of me that she no longer does. I guess I have just disappointed her one too many times. I should have been there for her. I should have reacted differently about our baby. I just wish she would have believed me when I tried explaining that I had changed my mind by the time she'd been attacked by Hyde. Then again, why would she? I am fifty shades of fucked up, after all.

**APOV**

UGH! This is turning out to be a hell of a week. First, Monday morning I was plastered all over the tabloids. At least the stories were short-lived. Evidently Christian had PR on top of it, because by lunchtime, all of the stories were pulled. A GEH press release assured everyone that we are still married and that our schedules were just hectic and Christian was only the Fairmont to allow him to be closer to work for the short term.

I would normally be mad, but honestly, I have had it up to my eyeballs with the humiliation I have already been dealt and I would rather not have it in the papers as well.

On Tuesday, Ray called and wanted reassurance everything was really okay and all I could do was ask for faith that if Christian and I were going to divorce, I would tell him personally.

"Well Annie, that's not exactly reassuring, but I am going to trust you that if things become difficult, you will come to me right away."

"I promise, dad."

Man, I hated not telling Ray the full truth and just letting him believe the press release, but depending on how things go, I will deal with him when the time comes.

The rest of the week pretty much followed suit with difficult authors and all of the construction at Escala. And on top of all of that, I am horny. I mean really horny. This the longest I have ever went without sex since the first time and knowing a willing partner is just a phone call away is even more frustrating.

It is finally Friday and time to face Christian. Buck up Ana, it's time get this over with.

**CPOV**

I have been nervous all week thinking about today. It will be the first time since our disastrous session with Flynn that I will see Ana and now I feel like a teenage boy about to go on his first date. Of course, thanks to Elena, I never went on any dates as a teenager, but I imagine this is what it would feel like. I really am praying this works. I need Ana back. I can't breath without her. She is my air, my life. I have never really been a religious man, but I figure it can't hurt now. I will take all the help I can get. I know I fucked up and I would do anything to take it back. Anything.

I stand and buzz Jameson to let him know I am ready to leave for my appointment with Ana and Dr. Darren Adams. I just hope he can help us, I mean really help us put our marriage back together. The marriage I all but destroyed. I know Ana is not in the mood to work on anything, and probably has high hopes that I am not even going to show up. Yes, I want to kill that fucker Jose right now, but that is not going to stop me from finding a way to fix my marriage. Anastasia is MINE and always will be.

**APOV**

Great, I am sitting here in Dr. Adams' office waiting on Christian, hoping that he is not going to show up, but deep down, I know there is no chance of that happening. Just as I think that, the door opens and in glides Christian. God, why does he have to look so good? He has on his light gray CEO suit today and the pants that hang just so on his hips. It's my favorite and my treacherous body betrays me. I automatically feel a pool of moisture between my legs and even I can hear my breathing accelerate. My heart is beating so hard I am afraid he can hear it. I don't want him to know he is affecting me today.

I was so mad last time and that's what I need to hold on to, the anger. It got me through the session with John and Christian, knowing I was going to lay into both of them. But nowhere we are, at a new counselor, and I can't get out of it this time.

Christian strides right up to Dr. Adams and introduces himself. He takes a seat on the small couch where I am already seated. His proximity is too close I can smell him. His unique scent fresh laundry, musky body wash and, of course, Christian. I can feel his eyes on me and I chance a quick peek. He has one brow lifted and crap, he can tell he is getting to me. I quickly face forward and try my best to ignore him.

"Okay Anastasia and Christian, let's get started. I understand we are dealing with a case of infidelity on your part, Mr. Grey, before the marriage had taken place? Is that correct?"

We both answer at the same time.

"Yes"

"Okay Mr. Grey, why don't you tell me what led you to commit this indiscretion?"

"Well my ex-girlfriend had a psychotic episode where she was obsessed with me when my wife and I were dating. She was constantly evading my security and myself and by the time we were able to apprehend her, she had broken into my wife's apartment and was holding her at gunpoint. I was able to get her to drop the gun and have my wife removed from the dangerous situation. I sat and talked with my ex and felt responsible for the state she was in. I felt I had broken her and wanted to heal her the way my wife had healed me, by showing her there was another way of life than the lifestyle she was living."

"Are you kidding me?!"

I am so angry which is exactly what I need to be right now, I cannot sit through this listening to him down play the whole situation.

"Christian, first of all, the love I gave you that helped you was NOT something that you can pay forward, it is NOT like paying for the person seated at the next tables meal! And your ex-girlfriend? We are here to be honest, so at least be honest and call it as it is. Dr. Adams, my husband practiced an alternative lifestyle for years before he met me, there for I was his first girlfriend. The woman we are discussing was one of his contracted submissives when he practiced BDSM. Lets just start with that, shall we Christian?"

I can't help the sneer in my voice, but did he honestly think he could use my love to rationalize what he did? No fucking way.

"Mr. Grey, is this true that the woman in question was a contracted submissive? I need all the facts if I am going to be able to truly help you."

"Yes, she was. Everything my wife told you is correct."\

I finally look at him and at least he has the decency to look ashamed of trying to hide the truth. My demeanor has gone from turned on and needy to irate and offended as hell. I am not going to let him get away with anything. He should feel ashamed.

"Okay, the truth about everything is a good start for the both of you. It will help you to move forward to a reconciliation."

"Oh Dr. Adams, the cheating and lying is only the start of the problem. We haven't even begun to scratch the surface. Maybe my dear husband would like to enlighten you as to the full existent of the situation. What do you say dear, would you like to tell the good doctor or shall I speak for you again?"

"There is more to the situation?"

Now the doctor's eyebrows are scrunched up in confusion. Christian has put on his CEO mask and looks me straight in the eye. That look used to make me flinch and feel intimidated, but not anymore. He turns back to the doctor after what feels like an eternity, to finally finish coming clean.

"Yes, it came to light a couple of months ago the woman is pregnant with my child, which of course makes this situation all the worse."

"Well yes, that does make things more complicated, but seeing as you are both here, that shows me you are willing to work on your marriage."

All I can think is more like forced here, and there is no one to blame but myself, because I agreed to this. I know I still love Christian, but I am not confidant that is enough anymore. He betrayed that love, and more importantly, my trust. I gave him everything I have to give. I have gone over everything again and again trying to figure out what I could have done differently to prevent this from happening and have come up with nothing. I just don't have anything left to give and it obviously was never going to be enough I just have to accept that. I am brought out of my inner thoughts by Dr. Adams speaking to both of us.

**CPOV**

I can't believe how bad I fucked up this whole visit as soon as I started talking. Why couldn't I just tell him the truth to start with? I had such high hopes when I first sat down next to Ana. I could tell she was affected by me. I know her body better than she does. I know she was as turned on as I am. I was thanking my lucky stars that the couch was small and we were going to have to sit close to each other. As soon as I took a seat, I could tell I was affecting her. I could hear her breathing increase and she clenched her thighs clenched together slightly. She still wants me, thank god. But of course, I had to fuck things up again. Now is just as angry as she was at Dr. Flynn's office. I'm pulled from the thoughts as the doctor speaks, so I turn my attention back to him.

"Okay Anastasia and Christian, I am going to give you both a packet that I want you to take home and work on. When you return, we will go over both of your answers. The exercise at the end of the questions will start after the end of our discussion next week, then we will have individual sessions to go over each of your thoughts on them and then have a joint session to go over where you are in your progress as a couple."

The good doctor hands us our packets and I am thinking are you fucking kidding me, homework? But, as I start to skim through some of the questions, all I can think is YES. This is definitely on my side.

I look at Ana and I can see she is twisting her fingers together as he looks at the questions and that little V that is so soft to kiss has appeared between her brows; this always means she is nervous. That's right baby, you are actually going to have to finally listen to everything I have to say and give me the chance to fix this. I am so ready to work on us. I look down at the questions again and notice the headers to each section.

Recall the Hurt, Empathy is Understanding the Truth, Commit to Forgive, Hold onto Forgiveness.

Okay, those aren't exactly great, but at least they are all about forgiveness.

Taking Responsibility For Your Part.

What you did, The effect it had on my spouse, Did I offer to make it up to him/her? If so how?

Did I ever apologize or confess the hurt? If so How.

Right there that is where she is going to have to listen to everything I have to say, and then there are exercises we have to follow which I love. And she can't say no to them, as this doctor was her choice, and I am 100% on board with everything he is doing so far.

I look at Ana again and now she is scowling at me. Yep, she knows she is screwed with the last part.

Have an Honesty Hour.

Have Dinner Together.

Fun and Frolicking.

I am so stoked to do these exercises, especially the frolicking part, as we definitely need that part. I know I must have a huge smile on my face, but I can't help it. We stand, thank the good doctor and both turn to leave. I hold the door for Anastasia and get a great view of her delectable ass. She is wearing her gray pencil skirt and a silk matching button up top with sky high black Louboutins.

We walk through the reception area to the elevator and I notice that Taylor and Sawyer are not waiting for her. This really is my lucky day. It will be just the two of us in the elevator together and I know she won't be able to ignore the sexual tension now. Elevators always get to her.

**APOV**

Are you fucking kidding me? Not one single thing in these packets do I want to do. And now I have to ride down in the elevator with him alone. Oh why didn't I let Taylor and Sawyer come up when they tried to insist? Note to self: make sure they are always with me from now on.

I can see Christian out of the corner of my eye and he looks like the cat that ate the canary. Damn him. Hang on to your anger, Ana. That's going to be the only way to get through this. The doors open and both Christian and I step into the elevator. Why does it seem so much smaller in here than it did coming up than it does now? I try to stand as far from him as possible, but we have 18 floors to go and I can already feel the sexual tension around us. It's pulsing and all I keep saying to myself is you are mad, you are mad, he is a liar and a cheater, Ana. You are mad. This is my mantra and my subconscious is nodding her head in approval, but my inner goddess is on her knees begging. I am so trying to ignore her.

Then I feel Christian turn toward me and step closer. I am mad, I am mad. He is a liar and a cheater, I am mad. Oh no, it's not going to work if he touches me why is this damn elevator taking so long?

"So Anastasia I am looking forward to working with you on these _exercises_. I have to admit, I was concerned about a new therapist, but I think you have done a great job selecting Dr. Adams. It seems he knows exactly what he is doing."

Bastard. He knows exactly what HE is doing. I try not to look at him and keep my head turned, but I feel him move even closer he is radiating body heat and his scent is surrounding me; it's overwhelming. He reaches out and with a finger turns my head to look at him his eyes have turned a stormy gray and are his lids are heavy. My breath hitches and my treacherous body is giving me away again. I am paralyzed as he leans in and runs his nose the length of mine. His lips are just a brush away from mine as he starts to speak, his breath washes over me and in that short moment I want him to kiss me, to take me hard and fast to make me his again. Damn, my panties are soaking wet now.

"I have missed you so much Ana. I want you so much, baby. Please let me make this right. Let me show you how sorry I am. Don't you feel it? I know you do. I can tell. I know your body. You're wet aren't? Just for me. You are still only mine. No matter how much you try to fool yourself, you will always be mine. Just like I will always be yours. Please Ana, let me fix this."

He has now backed me up against the wall and trapped me in with one arm on the wall near my head and his other hand resting on my hip. God, he's right, I want him right now and nothing else matters. He is starting to close the little space that is still between us. I can just feel his lips against mine and his erection is pressed into my stomach I am about to cave when I hear the ping of the elevator and the doors open. I push away from him, quickly and jump out of the elevator and hurry to my SUV where Taylor has the door open for me. Damn that was close. Sawyer turns to look at me.

"Is everything okay, Ana? You seem a little flushed."

I let go of the breath I hadn't realized I was holding and relax against my seat.

"Yes, I am fine. The session just took longer than I expected, that's all."

Please Lord, give me strength. No matter what has happened, Christian Grey is still sex on legs and my resolve is going to have to become a lot stronger.

"Taylor how is the construction going on the changes to the penthouse?"

"They are right on schedule and should have the project finished by the end of next week."

I smile. Great, I hope Christian likes what I have done to place while he has been away. I spoke to Elliot earlier today and he said that the construction at the new house should be finished in about 3 weeks. I have to make sure I find a designer to decorate the new house. Christian said it was our money, so I will make sure to put it to good use. I normally would not do anything like that, but I am slowly starting to get over my aversion to having money and I know squat about decorating. I want my new home to feel warm, not like a museum as Escala does now. Well, with the exception of what I have done. Yep, I am very proud of myself at the moment, even if I am sexually frustrated.

**CPOV**

Ana pushes away from me and jumps out of the elevator. Now I am standing here with my dick hard as a rock. God it felt so good to be that close to her. I have button my jacket to hide my very obvious hard on, just so I can walk to my SUV where Jameson is waiting.

I slide into the back seat and sink into my seat. I miss her so much. I will do whatever it takes to get her back. I can't breath with out her and she is the only thing that chases the nightmares away. But they have changed since we have separated, now I wake screaming Ana's name. I am pulled back to the present by Jameson.

"Sir, Miss. Williams called and wanted to know if you wanted an update on the baby. Her appointment was today with her new doctor. She sounded very excited."

"NO!"

I try to steady my voice I don't want to go from thinking about Ana to dealing with fucking Leila.

"I don't want an update from her. All I need to know is when she goes into labor and I want to have a team ready to perform a DNA test immediately. If she has further issues, such as emergency health problems, she is to go through you and you are to notify me only if it affects the baby. I am not playing games with her anymore. Do you understand? And if my instructions are ignored by anyone it will cost them their job."

"Yes sir, I understand completely and will make sure her security detail is aware of your instructions."

I can't help but day dream of how different things would be if this was Ana carrying our child, being able to hear the heart beat of our child. Watching her body grow and change.

The thought of losing our baby breaks my heart again and I wish there was a way to could go back and change my actions so I could show her how much it truly did hurt, how much it still hurts, but I am so afraid I am never going to get that chance again. I wipe a single tear from eye as we pull up to the Fairmont, my temporary home. God, I wish I could go home to Ana.

**APOV**

I arrive home and as I enter the great room and make my way to the kitchen, I hear voices. Gail is talking to someone and at first I don't recognize the other person, so I just assume that it must be one of the workers from the crew remodeling part of the penthouse. Then I hear his voice. A voice I know well.

"Jose?"

"Hi Ana! What no jumping into my arm's this time? Ha!ha!ha!"

This is just what I needed, to see one of best friends again after the week I have had. I now have the biggest smile on my face.

"Oh my god, Jose! I am so happy to see you! What are you doing here? How long can you stay this time?"


	15. Chapter 15

**JPOV**

I am trying to wrap my head around everything Ana just told me there are plenty of girls named Leila right? And the time frame is just a coincidence in fact from what Ana said this Leila girl got pregnant after I was with anyone at all. So no way could this be the same person and even if it is he was with her after me.

I have to keep my cool I have wanted Ana ever since our freshman year at WSU and this could possibly be my chance if her and that asshole she is married to Christian don't make it. I'll be the shoulder she will need to cry on and finally she will see that I am the right guy for her.

That's it I will just keep playing the good 'friend' and everything I have wanted will finally be mine I can feel a smile slowly creeps on to my face. I have a plan in place and I am just going to stick to it.

**LPOV**

Great I am sitting here trapped in this Condo and can only leave if I take one of these stupid babysitters with me. I really thought I would have been moved into Escala by now and Christian and I would be a family.

It has to that mousy little bitch Ana, she probably has threatened to take everything he has, she is keeping us apart she has even made him stay at a hotel.

Well if she thinks once this baby is born that she has a chance of keeping him she is the one that's crazy. I am the mother of his child and I know he will do everything in his power to make sure that we are together. I just have to find a way to get her out of the picture.

**APOV**

No,no,no this cannot be happening not now these test have to be wrong. Something is just off I know I been have tired a lot and emotional… but it's just not possible, I have only had sex once since the miscarriage and we used a condom there is absolutely no way this possible. I am making an appointment with Dr. Green first thing tomorrow morning there is a logical explanation for this other than I am pregnant.

What if I am? Christian didn't welcome the thought of blip I am sure that he wouldn't want to hear the news of me pregnant again, besides he is having a baby with his sub so and seems way too distracted with that…

Here I am sitting in Dr. Green's office scared out of my mind again. Why can't I just have one normal day? Why couldn't I have fallen in love with a normal guy someone that didn't carry so much baggage, I've been wondering lately if I would have known what really happened with Christian and his sub (I still refuse to use her name) would I have still said yes when he asked me to marry him? The problem is now it's too late I will never be able to make that choice again. The only choice I get now is whether to be divorced or not.

I still love Christian but I am so hurt, how could I ever get past this? Do I leave him for good? My heart is so broken I'm afraid that it is beyond repairable and I am going to end up like one of those old ladies that has a house full of cats.

I'm jerked out of my inner thoughts when my name is called.

"Mrs. Grey"

I make my way to the back terrified of what Dr. Green could possibly tell me. The nurse hands me a plastic cup and directs me to the restroom, when I come out with my sample I'm ushered into an exam where I await my fate.

I leave Dr. Green's office finally about an hour later and I feel like I'm in shock. I'm walking blindly to the SUV where Taylor is holding the back door open for me staring at the picture I am holding in my hand, I almost trip and land on my face and Taylor just manages to catch me.

"Are you okay Ana?"

"Yes I am fine Jason. I just wasn't watching where I was going thank you."

He looks at me with a funny look on his face and then looks down to see what is in my hand and recognition cross his face at the picture followed by almost pity.

"Please Jason this is just between you and I no one else okay? I'm not ready to tell anyone."

"Of course Ana I won't say anything not even to Gail, it's not place when you're ready it's up to you who knows."

"Thank you, there is just too much drama and I have barely processed this myself."

I climb into the car still in shock holding the ultrasound picture of my little peanut; Dr. Green had to tell me at least three times that condoms break all of the time so it's not that uncommon…I have to get moved into my house I have to figure out a way to take better care of myself and to stop all of the stress in my life, I have someone else besides myself to think about now and Jose has to definitely has to go. I don't want to hurt his feelings he has been a good friend but I just need to be alone right now and let everything sink in and when I move it's not like he would be moving with me.

What do I tell Christian? That's if I tell him, I have to get out of these counseling sessions at some point he is going to notice as I get bigger, especially if I have to go through them for a year…okay Ana lets handle one thing at a time.

The ride to Escala was quite with me in my inner musings and when I arrived at the penthouse I barely noticed the ping of the elevator opening, I walk through the great room to the t.v. room where Jose is camped out watching some guy show. Well no time like the present to let him know that it's time for him to head back home.

"Jose we need to talk."


End file.
